A Small Crime
by Katy-Kale
Summary: What if, instead of Shrek, there was a teenage girl? Things would be a lot more different, that's for sure. Out of the blue, she just turns up at Arthur's Academy. Suddenly, the dull school isn't dull anymore, & Artie's life will never be the same again.
1. A New Student

"Wor-cest-er-sh-shiree? Now that sounds fancy." said Donkey, looking at the large sign above the Academy's drawbridge.

"It's Worcestershire, Donkey." said the girl standing beside him. Puss was sitting on her shoulder.

"What? Like the sauce? Mmm...It's spicy!" said Donkey, licking his lips.

Suddenly, the drawbridge lowered down, opening the entrance.

"Oh, they must be expecting us."

The girl beside him rolled her eyes. _If they were expecting Donkey, they would have probably raised the drawbridge and locked it as quickly as possible._ she thought, smiling to herself.

The trio quickly walked past the drawbridge and made their way towards the Headmaster's office before anyone could spot them.

* * *

There was a knock on the Headmaster's door.

The Headmaster got up from his office chair and opened the door. There standing in front of him was a cat in boots, a donkey, and a little girl. The girl looked about sixteen and had short black hair that stook out in places. She wore a grayish-black shirt, with black pants, and a gray cap that gave her a tomboyish look. She also had a brown leather belt, boots, and fingerless gloves. The Headmaster shuddered at her appearance, the girl had paleish skin and looked like a pauper. But the most strange thing about her appearance was her eyes. They had bright golden-yellow irises.

"Hello, I'd like to join your Academy and become a student." she said.

"Um, your name please, can I have your name?" asked the Headmaster, still a little bit flustered from the girl's appearance.

"It's Kit." replied Kit.

"What? Kit-something, or something-Kit?"

"Just Kit."

"Alright, sit down and I'll ask you a few questions."

Kit sat down, while Puss and Donkey stood behind her chair.

"Firstly, do you have any educational qualifications?"

Kit chuckled smuggly.

"Well?"

"Uh, no I don't." she answered.

"Do you know any alchemy?"

"No..."

"Can you do magic?"

"No."

"Can you joust?"

"Ummmm...no."

"Do you know how to play chess?"

"Well... no."

He sighed. "The answer to this question is probably **very** obvious, but do you have any references of _any_ kind!"

"... ... ... No."

The Headmaster frowned, how could he let this girl -who looked liked she had been raised by wolves- become a student in _his _Academy? She was definitely **not **a noble, and she looked more like a troublemaker than a student who wanted to learn.

"Well, I'm afraid that the school term has already started, so maybe you could do some studying and come back next year at the _beginning_ of the term." he said, trying to get rid her.

"Oh, right," said Kit quickly, realizing that she just remembered something very important, "One of my -um- relatives thought that it might be hard for me to get into this school, so she gave me this to pay for it."

Kit reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a large bag of gold. She placed it on the Headmaster's desk and several gold coins spilled out of it. The Headmaster gasped, he had never seen so much gold before.

"Can I join you Academy _now_?" Kit asked.

The Headmaster nodded, accepting the bribe. "Um, this is indeed very generous of you, miss. You can stay in room 27 in the girl's side of the dormitory."

He suddenly looked back at Puss and Donkey. "Are these... animals going to accompany you?"

"Yes, they have to stay with me...unless you want me to take my money elsewhere..."

The Headmaster sighed "Alright. And I'll also get you an Academy uniform."

"Thanks, but I'll refuse the uniform. I doubt that I'll be staying here long." said Kit, leaving the office with Puss and Donkey.


	2. The Jousting Field

Kit, Puss, and Donkey were back outside in the Academy grounds.

"Okay, there's a million students here and only one of them is Arthur Pendragon." said Kit, looking around to see if there was someone sensible who they could ask the whereabouts of Arthur.

She suddenly noticed some boys sitting on a bench playing a dungeon and dragons board game. Kit walked up to them, trying to half-close her eyes so that they wouldn't easily see her yellow irises.

"Uh, hi. I'm looking for someone named Arthur Pendragon." she said.

"Huh? Why would you want to talk to _him_?" asked one of the boys.

"Oh, nothing much. I just have some business I have to sort out with him."

"Well, he's over there." said the other boy, pointing to a jousting field.

"Thanks."

_A/N: Oh, by the way, Kit is not at the Academy to take Arthur to Far Far Away, so that he can be king. So, why Kit does want him?... Let's find out..._

Kit and her two friends entered the jousting field and saw a jouster dressed in full chainmail armor and riding on a powerful-looking horse. The jouster picked up his lance which was originally being held by one of the students surrounding him proudly.

The horse reared up and began to charge at what looked like a combat dummy on a wooden horse. It was only when the combat dummy flinched that Kit realised that it was a person wearing padded armor and a bucket helmet.

The jouster finally reached his opponent and knocked him several feet into the air with his lance. The padded guy with the bucket helmet fell just a few feet in front of Kit with a loud thud.

"Ha-ha! There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory!" shouted the winner. The students watching him laughed and cheered.

"So this is Arthur." said Kit, beginning to walk towards him. "Look at him, strong, handsome, face of a leader. I'm not surprised that he's royalty."

Kit was not paying attention to where she was going, so she was very surprised when she felt her foot step on something.

"Ow!"

Kit looked down to where the ow came from. "Oh! Sorry!" She had accidentally stepped on the padded armored boy's arm. He looked very lean and a bit scrawny, and most of his face was covered by his helmet.

"Did you just say you were looking for _Arthur_?" asked the boy.

Kit stepped over him while Puss said "That information is on a need-to-know basis."

"It's top secret! Hushity-hush!" added Donkey.

"Now, gentlemen, let's away." said the jouster, getting off his horse.

Kit walked up to him. "Greetings, Your Majesty. I need you to-"

The jouster interrupted her. "So, what are you supposed to be? Some kind of human-cat mutant or or something?" he laughed, grinning to his friends. They started laughing too.

Kit cringed at this. She realized that she had forgotten to hide her yellow eyes.

Kit was beginning to not like this guy. "Ha-ha, cat mutant. You made a funny." she said, sarcastically. She suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his armor and started to drag him across the field.

"Unhand me!" he yelled.

"Just stop squirming, Arthur."

"I'm not Arthur."

Kit turned and looked at him. "What?"

"I... am Lancelot," he said proudly. "That dork over _there_ is Arthur."

Kit looked to where he was pointing to. She saw the spot where the boy in the bucket helmet was, but now all that was left was the padded armor and the helmet. Kit quickly looked around, searching with her eyes for the boy. Then she spotted the scrawny boy running towards the archway leading out of the field. Kit still couldn't see his face clearly, because the boy was under the shade.

"Hey! Wait!" she called out, quickly dropping Lancelot from her grip and running after him. _Stupid! _she thought, referring more to herself than to Lancelot. After all, wouldn't she, of all people, know not to judge a person by their appearance?

Kit stopped, suddenly noticeing a strange figure out of the corner of her eye. It was a young lady about 18 years old with very long black hair that went to her waist. She was wearing a black shirt, a black belt, boots, gloves, a pair of black shorts similar to Kits and also had a gray headband around her head. Unlike Kit's eyes, this figure had orange irises with cat-like slits for pupils. The Stranger was standing in the shadow of an Academy wall, hidden to everyone else but Kit, Donkey, and Puss.

She was now staring directly at Kit, giving her a small smirk. Kit, knowing who this character was, nodded without smiling. Puss and Donkey did the same.

"I know..." Kit whispered, solemnly, "I know."


	3. Finding Arthur

"Oh, Arthur! Come out, come out wherever you are!" yelled Kit. The trio were now searching down the hall looking for Arthur.

They turned a corner and that's when Kit found Arthur.

The boy was hanging from a unlit torch that was several feet above the ground. In front of him was another student, grinning.

"Looks like you're going to be late for class, wyrm. About several hours, in fact if I leave you _hanging around_."

_Man, these kids are cruel._ thought Kit. She walked up to them, remembering this time to half-close her eyes.

"Excuse me, I need to talk to-"

"Hey! Look! Another loser to hang!" said the boy, seeing the girl as only another victim to harass.

"Look, I don't want any trouble, I just need to talk to Arthur." began Kit.

"Arthur? Why would you want to talk to that loser?" the student laughed.

Out of nowhere, he swiped his hand at Kit, purposely trying to knock her gray cap off her head.

"NO!" she yelled. From a sheer lightning-quick impulse, Kit grabbed her hat before it left her head, quickly putting it back on. She then hooked her left foot around the boy's right leg and at the same time pushed him back by the shoulders. This caused him to flip over backwards, landing hard on the ground, groaning in pain.

Arthur watched all this in amazement. Kit turned to Arthur (still half-closing her eyes) and unlatched him from the wall.

"Uh... thanks." he said.

"No problem." said Kit, averting her eyes.

"I don't think I know you," said Arthur, "What's you're name?"

"It's Kit." she said, turning to look straight at him, and forgetting once again to hide her eyes. _Oh shoot._ she thought. Arthur saw.

The boy started stareing. "Your eyes... they're yellow!" he said, almost in horror.

Kit was starting to get _really_ tired of this. "I know... They're mine." she said, almost in a growling voice. She turned to leave.

Arthur realised that he had offended her, the one person who helped him.

"S-Sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. Thanks again, Kit."

Kit's anger suddenly seemed to melt away. "You're welcome... By the way, could you meet me at the cafeteria hall at lunchtime tomorrow?"

Arthur was surrprised, but at the same time glad. He usually sat alone because no one liked him.

"Sure, I'll see you there." he replied.

"Alright."

The two of them left in oppisite directions.

* * *

"What do you mean, 'you like him'?" It was the Stranger that Kit had seen earlier who said this. It was the middle of the night now, and Puss and Donkey were sleeping in the dormitory, while Kit sneaked back out to the jousting field to talk.

"What I said... I like him." whispered Kit, feeling ashamed.

"It won't make any difference, you know." replied the Stranger.

"You're always so depressing."

"And _you_ have no choice."

* * *

**A/N: Review please.**


	4. The Lunch Hall

It was now the next mourning. Arthur picked up his lunch tray and stood by the line-up in the Academy's cafeteria. After he got to the front of the line he ordered his meal and was then given it.

Arthur looked around for Kit, who had said yesterday to meet her there for lunch. Suddenly, Arthur saw a vision: It was Guinevere, the most popular girl in school. Arthur watched her walk up to the cafeteria line-up, almost moving in slow motion like a fantasy, until-

"Oh, hey Artie." she said, standing in front of him.

Artie snapped out of his daydreaming. "Huh-wha?"

"Guinevere, we're in the same alchemy class?"

"Umm... uh..."

"Whatever. Okay, I'll see you around then, maybe." she said, turning around and leaving the cafeteria. Arthur was sure he heard her say _Oh, boy. What a loser._ to herself as she left.

Arthur had lost his big chance to talk to her. Again. His dream was to be able to ask her out but he knew what she would say. Besides, she was already Lancelot's girlfriend.

Arthur suddenly remembered who he was searching for and continued to look for Kit. Then Arthur realised something. _You idiot! She probably just told you to wait for her here as a joke. Even the new kids know you're a loser. _Arthur was alone, he decided to eat his lunch at his usual spot in the corner. He looked down at his feet, feeling very dumb for actually believing Kit. _But why did she help me, then?_ he thought. _She must have heard about me from one of the other students afterwards._

Arthur, not paying attention to where he was going, bumped into someone. He looked up.

It was Lancelot and two of his jousting friends.

"If I were Guinevere, I'd get a dork restraining order." he said, grinning.

"Oh... hey Lance." said Arthur, trying not to take any notice. He turned around to try and avoid them, but one of Lancelot's friend's was already blocking his exit. He snatched Arthur's lunch tray away.

"Where are YOU going, wyrm?"

"Actually, he's coming with me." said a familiar voice.

Arthur looked up. Lancelot turned around to look behind him. Kit was standing there.

Kit looked at Arthur, the expression on his face said everything. _Look, I don't really need your help again. You'll just get into trouble anyway._

But Kit was there to stay.

Lancelot decided that this wasn't worth his time. "Oh, take him, he belongs with the rest of those circus freaks."

From the other end of the cafeteria, Puss -who was enjoying the attention of some of the Academy girls- heard this and leaped to his feet.

"Pardon me ladies, but the duty, she calls. I shall return." said Puss, romantically.

Puss jumped onto a long table and started running across it. On his way he grabbed a silver ladle from a gravy bowl, and then somersaulted into the air, latching his ladle on a chandelier. He spun around it several times (and by now half of the Academy had seen him) until he un-latched himself from it, landing on a tray full of dishes. Puss slid on one of them and table-surfed his way across the hall (by now the _entire _Academy had seen him). He grabbed a student's fork and used it to spear a leg of mutton from an unsuspecting student, somersaulted into the air once again... and jammed the leg of mutton right into Lancelot's mouth.

All of the students watching cheered and laughed.

"Ha! Who are the freaks of the circus _now_?" yelled Puss.

Donkey, who was stuffing his face full of lettuce from the salad bar looked up. "Yeah! _Munch, munch._ Who are the freaks NOW?" he yelled, his mouth filled with lettuce.

Lancelot pulled the leg of mutton out of his mouth and turned to look at his two friends, but they were already running out the door in fear. Lancelot, realising his defeat, followed them without a word.

Kit and Arthur smiled at Puss. "That was brilliant!" said Kit.

"That was awesome!" said Arthur.

"So, Arthur..." began Kit.

"Please, call me Artie." he said.

"Artie. What do you know about-"

Suddenly, the P.A. turned on.

_"Would Miss Kit please come to the Headmaster's office. Your suitcase has arrived to be picked up."_

"Oh, I'd better go then," said Kit, quickly turning away to leave. "I'll see you later though."

"Okay, bye." said Artie.

* * *

Kit entered the Headmaster's office. Her suitcase rested on the desk.

"Here is your suitcase," said the Headmaster, "There's just one strange thing though."

"What is it?"

"I didn't see the person who left it here... I didn't hear a cart or anything."

"Oh there's a reason for that... I have it sent by the Ninja Delivery Service. They're totally silent." joked Kit.

The Headmaster decided to not press on. "Alright, well here it is." he said, handing the case to her.

* * *

Kit left the office and decided to eat her late lunch in the cafeteria hall. It was empty because everyone had already left for their classes, and Puss and Donkey must have left to sleep in the dormitories again.

The lunch-lady server was still there, so Kit ordered a small cheese sandwich and refused the leg of mutton that came with it. She carried her tray to an isolated spot, placed her suitcase beside herself, and began eating quietly.

"You can't even bring yourself to _eat meat_, can you?"

Kit suddenly looked up and saw the young woman with bright orange cat-like eyes.

"Oh, it's you," said Kit, "By the way, thanks for getting my suitcase, I guess I must have forgotten it when I left to join the school."

The Stranger frowned at Kit. "What are you going to do next?"

"I... I think I'm going to convince Artie to go to the school's yearly tournament. I hear that it's a school tradition for all of the students to go." replied Kit.

"I didn't put you in this Academy to keep up _traditions_," she said annoyed, almost spitting the last word out, "I put you in this Academy to-"

"Oh, do we have to talk about that _now_?" interrupted Kit.

The Stranger paused. "... Just don't take too long, that's all." she said, getting up and leaving Kit.

* * *

After the Stranger left, Kit also got up and dragged her suitcase up to her dormitory room. She dropped it on her bed beside Puss and Donkey (making sure not to wake them up).

She opened the suitcase and rummaged through it. It had a few extra pairs of her grayish-black shirt and shorts, nothing fancy. Then Kit found something hidden on the bottom of the case. Under of the pile of clothes was a loaded crossbow... its arrows sharpened to a deadly point.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was based on a deleted scene in Shrek the Third called 'Hot Lunch'.**


	5. The Idea

Kit pulled out the crossbow. She slowly moved her hand across the polished wood as if it were a work of art. She decided that she wanted to try it out. Kit looked around for a good target. There was a pack of cards on the side table of her bed.

_I'll try that._ she thought.

Kit picked up one of the flimsy cards and threw it up into the air. She quickly aimed and fired. The silent arrow hit the card spot on in the center, before it even hit the ground.

It was a flawless shot.

Kit put the arrow and the crossbow back into the bottom of the suitcase. As she did, she realised that she couldn't use the excuse that she was a bad shot to buy herself some time before she had to... to... she didn't even want to think about it. The Stranger knew just as well as she did that Kit had brilliant aim.

But then what excuse _could_ she use? Kit suddenly remembered what she had told the Stranger.

_I... I think I'm going to convince Artie to go to the school's yearly tournament. I hear that it's a school tradition for all of the students to go._

Of course! I was a perfect excuse. She could convince Artie to _joust _in the tournament. Kit knew that from what she'd already discovered from Artie's personality that it would take a bit of convincing to get him to do it. A _lot_ of convincing. But it was nothing that she couldn't handle. Sure, it would only give her _a little_ bit of extra time, but at least it would help Artie become more confident.

She quickly woke up Puss and Donkey.

"Come on! We're going out to the courtyard." said Kit, opening the door for them.

* * *

The three of them looked around for Artie. After a short while they found him sitting alone under a tree. He was reading a book on dragons.

Kit ran up to him.

"Hi!"

Artie looked up. "Hi." he echoed back.

Kit sat down beside him. "Are you going to the tournament next week?"

"No, I'm usually just stay in my dormitory during the tournament." he replied, not looking away from his book.

Kit frowned, but then smiled. "I really think you should. Or better yet, why don't you _joust_ in the tournament."

Artie looked up from his book, surprised. "What! Are you serious!"

"I'm quite serious. I mean, why not? Suppose you win? Imagine it... a cup in the Academy's trophy cabinet with _your_ name on it."

"Do you know who I would joust against if I did decide to? Lancelot, that's who!"

"So? How does _that_ matter?" shrugged Kit, "Just beat him and you'll win."

"No, Lancelot's the strongest jouster here. He'll win, and he'll rub it in like he always has." sighed Artie.

"Come on! Where's your fighting spirit?"

"It was squashed a long time ago. And now I know how to cope with defeat: Acceptance."

"And how has _that_ way of life made you feel so far?" asked Kit.

It took a while for Artie to find the right word. "... Empty."

"That's a terrible thing to say. But then again, emptiness is there to be filled." said Kit wisely.

Artie raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a _book _of clichés, or do they just come naturally to you?" he said sarcastically.

"Let's give Lancelot the hammering he deserves!"

"I don't even know **how** to joust!" said Artie.

"Oh, come on! I've seen hundreds of jousts, and the rules look simple enough to me! I could teach you."

"Y-You think so?" asked Artie, considering the crazy idea, "... Alright then, I'll joust."

Kit smiled. "Now that's the spirit! Meet me at the jousting field at dawn tomorrow and we'll begin practicing."

* * *

"Have you gone completely _insane_!" yelled Donkey. Kit, Puss and Donkey were alone in the Academy's stable.

"I thought you'd think it would be a good idea. That boy really needs to build up his people skills." replied Kit calmly, examining a jousting helmet and saddle.

"Do you really think he can possibly beat Lancelot? Even with your training?" asked Puss.

Kit grinned mischievously. "Well, let's just say that I have an idea that would _guarantee_ Artie winning the tournament."

"Oh?" asked Puss and Donkey.

"Winning at jousting is basically pushing your opponent off their horse, while at the same time staying on yours."

"So?" asked both animals.

"We'll just _bolt_ Artie's jousting boots the saddle, and then tamper with Lancelot's armor."

Both Puss and Donkey gave Kit an unimpressed look. "So, you're going to cheat?" said Puss.

"I prefer to call it 'making unauthorised alterations'." replied Kit.

* * *

**A/N: I drew a picture of all of the main characters. Just click on the link in my Profile page.**


	6. The Tournament

"GALLOP..." "CRASH!" "THUD!" "OWWW!"

"You nearly had it that time, Artie!"

Kit had been training Artie since the crack of dawn, and was still not getting any success or improvements out of him. Every time Artie charged at the combat dummy, the force of the collision knocked him over.

"It's way too early to be doing this." said Artie, who by now was losing his spirit. He jumped off his horse and took off his bucket helmet.

Kit sighed heavily "Alright, when do you want to start practicing again?"

"How about in three or four YEARS!" said Artie, sarcastic and annoyed.

"What! You mean you're giving up!"

"Yes, I'm giving up! I'm going back to my dormitory to play something I'm good at."

"And what would that be?" asked Kit.

"Solitaire."

"Oh, right. That game suits you, doesn't it? It's the one card game in the UNIVERSE that only requires one player!" yelled Kit.

For a moment, both students looked at each other angrily.

"This is ridiculous!" yelled Artie, throwing the lance down, "What makes you think that Lancelot would even _agree_ to joust against me anyway!"

"Because it _is_ you! He thinks you're easy meat! He probably calls you 'push-over Artie'!"

"That's because I AM!"

"Not if I teach you how to play," said Kit, picking up the lance and handing it back over to Artie, "And, even if I do say so myself, I am white-hot at jousting."

Artie sighed. "Alright, then. Let's keep going."

They practiced for quite a while, and although Artie was still weak, he always hit his target.

* * *

It was now the night before the tournament. Kit was lying on her dormitory bed, talking to Puss and Donkey.

Donkey spoke first. "The kid's never going to win this thing on his own."

"That's why we have my plan," whispered Kit, "Donkey, you'll go into the stable to bolt Artie's boots to the saddle, while Puss goes in to tamper with Lancelot's armor."

"Hey, why aren't _you_ doing anything, Kit?" asked Donkey.

"Because if I was caught, they'd know that I was trying to cheat. No one would suspect a cat or a Donkey cheating in a stable."

"Oh, right."

* * *

Finally, the night of the tournament arrived. It was evening, the Academy was lit with torches, stars, and the moon.

As Kit walked slowly towards the jousting field, a familiar voice made her jump.

"Where are you going?"

Kit turned around, slowly. "I do wish you'd stop doing that." she stuttered.

The Stranger was right in front of Kit, her eyes reflected in the moonlight like burning embers.

She leaned closer to Kit, who in turn tried to lean away. "I said, where are you going?"

"We're all going to a tournament." said Kit.

"A tournament?"

"Yeah, it should be fun."

"_Fun?_ You seem to have forgotten your purpose."

"Well, not _just_ for fun, it's important for Arthur's self-confidence."

"Our interest in Arthur Pendragon has got nothing to do with his self-confidence!"

Kit sighed. "Look, this is the first time I've done this sort of thing. And you _did_ say to me, as it is my first time, that I could ease my way into it."

"Give you an inch and you take a mile. Just remember, Kit, I've got my eye on you."

The Stranger began to walk away.

"Siv!" called Kit.

She stopped and turned around. "What?"

"Could you go to my dormitory room and check to see if I locked my door, I'm not sure now."

Siv shook her head angrily. "Just get on with it!"

* * *

Kit, Donkey, and Puss found seats beside each other in the crowd.

The announcer stood on a small stand, holding a megaphone. "The first contest will be a joust between Lancelot Du Lac and Arthur Pendragon."

The crowd cheered when Lancelot proudly rode into the field on his brown stallion, and laughed when Artie rode in wearing his pathetic bucket helmet and tattered armor on the white horse. Kit, Puss, and Donkey tried to clap as loudly as possible for Artie.

"I hope this goes well." said Puss.

"Of course it will," whispered Kit, "You guys tampered with Lance's armor and bolted Artie's boots to the saddle, after all, right?"

Puss and Donkey both started looking very embarrassed.

Kit frowned. "_Right?_"

"Well, not _exactly_..." said Donkey.

"WHAT!" screamed Kit. A few students turned to stare at them. Kit began to giggle nervously as they turned away.

Kit looked back at Puss and Donkey. "What do you mean 'not exactly'?"

"Well, let me put it this way," said Donkey, "I didn't bolt Artie's boots to the saddle."

"And why not?" asked Kit, annoyed.

"Because for me to be able to bolt Artie's boots to his saddle, I need Artie's boots! And I realized that they were still on Artie."

"You idiot! I just meant the jousting boots that were hanging in the stable!"

"Oh..." said Donkey.

"Well, at least Puss tampered with Lance's armor."

"Well, I too have a confession," said Puss, "I didn't."

"Why?" asked Kit.

"Well, it's hard to tamper with armor that's indestructible and impossibly hard to bend. When I tried to ruin it, it just would not break, tear, puncher, or anything. And I thought that Donkey bolting the boots would work alone."

"That's what _I_ thought about _Puss_ tampering with the _armor_." said Donkey.

"Oh brother..." Kit sighed.

The Academy's trumpets sounded, signaling the beginning of the tournament. Both horses reared up and began charging with gathering speed.

_This is it. Artie's going to fail with flying colors..._thought Kit, biting her nails in nervousness.

"I can't watch!" yelled Donkey, covering his eyes with his hooves.

_I just know Artie's going to lose..._

Faster and faster the two horses ran. Their galloping vibrated the ground as they kicked up dirt. Both Lancelot and Artie lowered their lances, their points posed to strike. Eventually, the two opponents met each other. Lancelot's lance hit Artie in the shoulder. Artie bit the pain. At the same time, Artie's lance hit Lancelot right in the stomach. In his pain, Lancelot fell off his horse... leaving Artie as the winner.

_We... won? He won?_

* * *

"Hey Kit! Look! I did it!" grinned Artie happily, holding up the trophy proudly.

There was a short pause.

"... You did it." said Kit, rather confused.

"I thought that since you helped me train for this -heck, if it wasn't for you, I never would have even _tried_- you should have a share of some of the prize money. It's only fair."

"No thanks. Keep it."

"Are you sure?" asked Artie.

"Yep. I'm quite sure. I never buy anything."

"You could save it for something big in the future."

"My sister will take care of that." As soon as Kit said those words she knew that she made a mistake.

"You've never mentioned your sister before," said Artie, "What does she do?"

Kit searched for the right words for a moment. "... She's in the removal business." smiled Kit.

Artie stared up to look at the moon. "I wonder if I'll have the guts to do this again next year."

"... I wouldn't worry about next year." said Kit softly.

* * *

Kit, Puss, and Donkey were lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The tournament had come and gone for the year.

"Kit, there's still something I'm a bit confused about," said Donkey, "I mean, did Artie win with pure dumb luck or what?"

"Well, not necessarily... the only reason why Lancelot allowed Artie to be on the jousting team was so that he could use Artie as a combat dummy. Because of this, Artie must have learned which areas of the body hurt more when hit than others, without even realizing it."

"So, then, why was he so bad at beating the combat dummy, yet so good at beating Lance?"

"Probably because combat dummies can't feel pain and that Lancelot could, making him easier to knock off his horse for Artie. Anyway, the important thing is that Artie has gained some much-needed pride in himself - fair and square."

And with that, the three friends fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N: Cool trivia- I read in the 'Shrek Guide Book' that Artie's favorite game actually IS solitaire! So I decided to add it into the story.**


	7. The Party

About a week had passed. Artie was staring at a sign pinned to a wall.

_'Academy dance tomorrow.'_ It read.

Artie tried to asked Guinevere to come with him last year, which was a big mistake. He was verbally beaten up by Guinevere, and then _physically_ beaten up by Lancelot. Artie wanted to try and ask her again, but he knew what she would say:

_"Eww-eth..."_

Kit, Puss, and Donkey walked up to him, the two animals in front of Kit.

Donkey spoke first. "What are you reading there?"

"It's a notice for the school dance." said Artie.

"Ooh. Who are you going with?" asked Donkey.

"That's just the thing. I don't have anyone to go with. I want to go with Guinevere, but I know she'll refuse."

"Hmm... I wish we could help, _señor_." said Puss.

Kit wasn't paying much attention. She couldn't care less about dancing, it wasn't really her style. Normally, she would jump at every opportunity to help Artie, but helping him get a dance with Guinevere was too much. Kit didn't like her. Although Guin was stunningly beautiful to everyone she met, she was vain, rude, and arrogant. Kit looked at people through their personalities rather than their general appearance, and she didn't like what she saw in Guinevere.

"Hey, Kit... why don't you go to the dance with Artie?" said Donkey suddenly.

Kit looked up, shocked. "I can't." she said quickly.

"Why not?" asked Artie. He didn't mind the idea at all.

"I... haven't got any money." she stuttered.

"It's free to go to." said Artie.

"I'm busy that night."

"No you're not." said Donkey.

Kit gave Donkey a deadly stare. "I need to go to the library that night to return my books, they're overdue." lied Kit.

"But you went to the library yesterday!" said Puss.

"Oh, right. That wasn't it... They just didn't have it."

"Have what?" asked Artie.

"The book I needed in order to pass my exams." said Kit.

"They're _aren't_ any exams." said Artie.

"Aren't there?" asked Kit, pretending to be surprised, "Then I... have to go do some late-night shopping."

"Where?" asked Artie, raising an eyebrow.

"... ... ... At a late-night shopping shop!" said Kit. She knew she was grasping at straws for an excuse, "There's gotta be one _somewhere_ around here!"

"The Academy's on an _island_, remember?" reminded Artie.

Donkey spoke up. "Well, _I_ think that Artie here should enjoy some young company."

"Oh, well, that rules me out. I'm 360. I just _look_ younger." said Kit.

Artie laughed. "Don't be silly, Kit."

"And that's another thing."

"What is?"

"I'm silly. You don't want to go out with a silly person."

"Were not _matchmaking_, _señorita_," said Puss, "We just want two young people to spend a nice evening together."

"Well, choose _another_ two young people." replied Kit.

"Oh, come on! What's better than two friends having a night out?" asked Donkey.

"Two friends _**not**_ doing that?" asked Kit.

"Were just thinking of you." said Donkey.

"I thought you were thinking of Artie!"

"So why won't you go out with him?"

"Because..."

"Because?" asked Donkey.

"Because!"

"Because?"

"Look, can't we just leave it as 'because'!" asked Kit.

"No!" answered Puss.

"Oh, fine!" yelled Donkey angrily, "I won't ask you anymore!" Kit made a sigh of relief.

"...I'm _telling_ you." he said.

* * *

That evening, Kit and Artie were sitting at a table in the auditorium in their regular clothes. The room was arranged so that there were tables for different groups of students to sit in, and a large dance floor. Special candles that glowed in different colors dimly lit the area. There was also music in the background that was so loud, it was vibrating the tables.

Artie yawned.

"I'm guessing that you're enjoying yourself?" said Kit, sarcastically.

"I haven't had this much fun since the time I broke my arm five years ago." said Artie, with just as much sarcasm, "It's like being out with a zombie."

"I haven't been rude, have I?" asked Kit surprised.

"You haven't _been_ anything!" said Artie, "Why on earth did you agree to go with me in the first place?"

"Why did I!- Puss and Donkey made me!"

"That's not very flattering, you know."

"I know, I know..."

"...Why don't you like me?" asked Artie.

Kit was very surprised at Artie's question. "I do like you!"

"Then why did Puss and Donkey have to _force_ you to go with me? You're not going to tell me that your shy, are you? Because I know you're not."

"You're right, I'm not. I'm just..." Kit looked around to see if anyone could hear them. There wasn't, "...Can you keep a secret?" asked Kit, half whispering.

"Yes."

Kit looked into Artie's honest blue eyes and was satisfied. "Okay. It's just that... I'm..."

Suddenly, Kit could sense that Siv was watching her somewhere. She remembered Siv's warning:

_Just remember, Kit. I've got my eye on you._

What was she doing? Kit couldn't tell Artie. She could get _killed_ for doing something like that!

"You're what?" asked Artie, confused.

"I'm... wrong, that's all."

Artie heavily sighed at Kit's vague reason.

"Do you want to go?" asked Kit.

"...No. Let's just have one dance to create the illusion that we've been having fun." said Artie.

It was Kit's turn to sigh heavily. "Alright. Fine."

There was a short pause.

"You know, people usually dance _standing up_." said Artie.

"Er, right." said Kit, quickly getting up.

They both walked towards the dance floor. The loud music had changed to a slow and peaceful waltz music. They faced each other to begin dancing.

"But wait, I can't dance!" said Kit.

Artie chuckled "That's what _I_ thought about _jousting_," he replied, "It's easy. Just do what I do, only with the opposite feet."

Kit nervously placed one of her hands in Artie's hand, and the other on Artie's shoulder, while Artie nervously put one hand in Kit's hand, and the other on her waist. At first, all they could do was awkwardly look down at their feet trying to copy each other's steps, and trying to not step on each other's feet. But as they started to get used to the rhythm of the steps, they began to look at each other rather than their feet.

Artie stared at Kit's eyes. They shined like two golden rings. Artie wondered why her eyes were yellow like that. Was she born with them, or were they _another_ color originally, and _then_ changed to gold?

As Kit stared back at Artie, she couldn't help but realize how... _handsome _Artie was. With his long, flowing blond hair and sky-blue eyes, Artie was quite good-looking. He was definitely not muscular or strong - instead, he was fast and light on his feet.

Getting used to the dancing, Artie rested his forehead on Kit's. He suddenly felt something hard and sharp under Kit's cap. Artie reasoned that perhaps Kit's hat also had a metal helmet built into it. The kind used for riding.

_How clever._ thought Artie.

* * *

After the dancing, Kit and Artie walked outside.

"I'm really sorry that I called you a zombie." said Artie.

"It's alright. I deserved it."

"You did come to life though."

"That's what all zombies do in the best stories." joked Kit.

Artie laughed.

"Thank you for taking me," said Kit. She leaned closer to Artie and kissed him on the cheek. This surprised him greatly. "Good night." she whispered.

"...Good night." Artie whispered back, half-waving. As Kit turned to leave, Artie lifted his hand up touch where Kit had kissed him. He smiled and started walking the other way towards the boy's side of the dormitory.

* * *

Kit had never felt like this before. She felt so alive, almost to a ridiculous point. It didn't last long, though.

In Kit's daze, she walked straight into Siv, who angrily grabbed Kit by the throat, lifting her up an inch above the ground.

"So, it's love's young dream now, is it?" said Siv, in her sly, scornful voice. She dropped Kit back down.

Kit's eyes widdened. She forgot all about Siv when she kissed Artie!

"Siv..." began Kit, not sure of what to say. She rubbed her painful throat.

_Is she going to kill me?_ thought Kit, shaking. It didn't seem impossible to her.

"If I hadn't witnessed that charade with my own eyes, I'd never have believed it."

"I only took a boy out... and kissed him good night. It's perfectly normal."

"Oh, I see," said Siv, with a taunting smirk, "People like _us_ doing normal things. We live by different rules. You remembered that when you resisted him the first time."

"You should be proud of me for that." said Kit. She was getting tired of this. She was sick to the teeth of being followed, being spied on constantly, and being bossed around by her older sister.

"Then one stupid dance and you fall for him." said Siv.

"Artie's a very nice boy."

"_Artie? _Is that what you call him?" laughed Siv, "You know, you're not supposed to give a nickname to someone you're about to-"

"Stop it!" yelled Kit, "...It's what everyone calls him." she said, trying to prove to Siv that she wasn't weak.

"None of these things can ever be for you. Not here. Not ever."

Kit sighed. "I don't know... I just... I wish that I wasn't me."

"Well, look on the bright side," said Siv, "One day you'll be like me."

"That's what I like about you, Siv. You always manage to cheer me up." said Kit, sarcastically.

Siv sneered at her and left, disappearing into the shadows. Kit was left alone.

_Gods... what am I supposed to do? _Kit felt completely lost. What Siv wanted her to do seemed impossible.

Kit looked up at the sky, as she did, a song she had never heard before formed into her head. She began to softly sing it to the sky.

(Tune: The song in Shrek the Third titled '9 Crimes' by Damien Rice)

_Leave me out with the waste,  
This is not what I'd do.  
It's the wrong time,  
For somebody new.  
It's a small crime,  
And I've got no excuse._

_Is that alright? Yeah._  
_Is that alright with you?  
__Is that aright? ...Yeah.  
__To drop my crossbow when it's loaded.  
If I don't shoot it, then how am I supposed to hold it.  
To drop my crossbow when it's loaded._

_Is that alright?  
Is that alright?  
Is that alright with you?_

_No..._

* * *

**A/N: Review please. I would like to hear from some more readers.**


	8. The Auditoium

Kit woke up and realized that she had fallen asleep on the ground. She must have slept there for the entire night because it was next morning. Kit remembered how wonderful she felt when she danced with Artie, how she kissed him. But then Siv came along and reminded her about reality, how different Kit's dreams and Kit's mission were. She walked into her dormitory room. Puss and Donkey were lying on her bed. As Kit walked in, they looked up at her.

"So, how did it go?" asked Donkey, smiling.

Kit suddenly remembered how mad she was with them and angrily slammed the door behind her.

Puss and Donkey frowned.

"What are you two doing?" asked Kit.

"Well, Puss and I were thinking of catching a tournament later." replied Donkey.

Kit began angrily pushing some of the chairs towards the walls of the room.

"What are you doing!" asked Donkey.

"What am I doing? I'm moving the furniture. Giving myself _plenty of room_." she said, stretching her arms.

"Why?"

"Why!" echoed Kit, smiling grimly, "To swing you around in!"

Puss and Donkey made a run for the door, but Kit blocked their way. She picked them both up by the scruff of their necks. Gently but firmly.

"Hey! Ow! We just wanted to help. We thought it would be a cool idea."

"You do realize, that because of your stupidity, Siv was _this_ close to strangling me last night!" said Kit pointing at her neck.

"Were sorry." said both Puss and Donkey.

"You know I can't develop any _feelings_ for him," said Kit, looking down. It was already too late to prevent that, she realized, "Besides. We have absolutely _nothing_ in common."

"Oooh. Now I really see what's going on here." said Donkey smugly.

"What are you talking about?" shrugged Kit.

"Look, I don't even want to hear it. I'm an animal and I've got instincts. And I know that you two are digging on each other, I can feel it.

"Er, your crazy." said Kit, embarrassed, trying to change the subject.

Puss could see that if he didn't say something to steer the conversation away, someone's feeling would get hurt.

"Look, everyone makes mistakes. Even Sir Galahad does." said Donkey.

"Here we go..." said Puss to himself, sighing.

"You take the world cup jousting tournament, for example." began Donkey.

"I'm sick of hearing about it!" said Puss, who had been listening to Donkey talk about it repeatedly.

"If his horse hadn't seen that duck, they would have beaten Sir Griswold a million to one at least! If only he was substituted-"

"I can't _be _substituted!" said Kit, lost in thought. How could she keep Artie safe with Siv watching him?

"I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about Sir Galahad. He was a prince."

"Oh, he's been made _a prince_, now, has he?" said Puss, rolling his eyes.

"He should have been. You take the match during the year 724."

"You're not going to describe the entire tournament, are you?" asked Puss.

"I can't be substituted."

"I've gone past that! Sir Galahad and Sir Griswold were tied. So what does Galahad do?"

"He charges at Sir Griswold on his horse, but then at 50 yards-"

"_60_ yards, Puss." corrected Donkey.

"But then at _60 _yards, Sir Galahad's horse sees a duck, gets spooked, Sir Galahad falls off, leaving the team defeated." sighed Puss, who had heard Donkey say this hundreds of times.

"Well, the point is," said Donkey, "That if Sir Galahad, the duck, or his horse hadn't been there, the team would have won."

Kit looked at Donkey, astonished. "That is brilliant Donkey!"

"I do tell a good story, don't I?" said Donkey proudly. Puss rolled his eyes again.

"You see, if someone isn't there, something can't happen." said Kit.

Puss looked at her as if she had suddenly gone crazy. "_...Alright_." said Puss.

"That means that if Artie isn't at the Academy, nothing can happen to him there!"

Suddenly, the door knocked.

"Ah, that'll be someone from the asylum for you." joked Donkey to Kit.

Kit opened the door and a girl told her that there was an important school assembly today. After the girl left, Kit closed the door.

"What were you getting at?" asked Donkey.

"I'm saying that we have to leave the Academy with Artie. That's what." said Kit.

"And how are you going to do that?" asked Donkey.

"There are always ships coming in and out of the docks. We can as that kind sailor to give us a ride again. You know, that Captain who helped bring us here."

"But how are you going to convince Artie to go?" asked Puss.

"Do you not remember what Siv told us about Artie? He's the heir to the Kingdom of Far Far Away! Once we tell him that, he'll come with us. I mean, it's not like there's anything he'd miss here."

* * *

Kit, Puss, and Donkey made their way to the auditorium.

The Headmaster, Principal Pynchley, was giving a lecture over an assembly for the entire student body. He was speaking through some sort of megaphone.

"Thank you to Professor Primbottom, for his invigorating lecture, on how to just say 'nay'." he said.

There was some quiet clapping for a few short moments.

Kit noticed that there were two students standing next to the Headmaster. One dressed up like a red dragon, and the other dressed liked a griffin.

Principal Pynchleycontinued his speech. "And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire-hoozah to the winner of our New Mascot Contest... the-"

Kit suddenly grabbed the Headmaster's megaphone in a flash.

"Hello? Testing. One, two, three!" Kit spoke into the microphone.

"This is all indeed a bit unorthodox..." the Headmaster said quietly to himself.

"Excuse me, where can I find Arthur Pendragon?" asked Kit.

The students all pointed up. Kit, Puss, and Donkey turn and looked up to see Artie... hanging helplessly on a large coat of arms. The students all start laughing.

In one of the long rows of seats, Lancelot bumped fists with Bohort.

"Classic."

Donkey turned to Lancelot.

"You should be ashamed of yourself."

Lancelot shrugged in a what-do-I-care sort of manner. "I didn't do it. They did." he said, pointing to the D&D nerds. They were standing beside each other in an above row of seats, also laughing.

Kit reached up and pulled Artie down by his arm to her eye level.

"Thanks." whispered Artie.

Kit nodded and yanked on his arm again, pulling him down.

All of the students made a depressed "Awww" sound, as if they wanted Artie to hang up there forever.

Kit gently let go of Artie's arm. "It's time to pack up your suitcase. You're the new King of Far Far Away."

Artie looked at Kit, shocked. "W-What?"

The students also reacted with surprise and disbelief.

Lancelot laughed. "Artie a King? More like the Mayor of Loserville."

"Nice one Lance!" said Bohort, giving him a high five. One of the tuba players played a Wha-wha-wha.

"Burn."

Everyone started laughing. Even Principal Pynchley got caught up in the excitement and also began laughing.

Artie looked back at Kit. "Is this for real?"

"Absolutely. Now clean out your locker, you've got a kingdom to run." said Kit, grabbing Artie's arm.

Artie pulled away. "So wait... I'm _really_ the only heir?"

Kit paused for just a moment, then...

"The one and only." she replied.

Artie smiled. "Give me ,uh, just a second." he said, slowly walking to the center of the auditorium so that everyone could see him.

Artie turned back to the crowd and began delivering a heartfelt speech.

"My good people..." he began, "I think there's a lesson here for all of us. Maybe the next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, you'll stop and think, 'Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. _Maybe_ I should cut him some slack. Because maybe... just maybe... this guy's gonna turn out to be, nah... I dunno... a King! And _maybe_ his first royal decree, will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him!' - That's right, I'm looking at you, jousting team!"

Artie pointed and Lancelot and his buddies, who were looking rather embarrassed and horrified at this point.

Then Artie looked at Guinevere. "And Gwen... oh Gwen. I've always loved you."

"Eww." she said.

For some reason, Kit suddenly felt a bit sick and.

"Well good friends, it breaks my heart, but," he sighed, "Enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world baby!"

"Alright, let's not overdo it." said Kit, rolling her eyes to the ceiling.

"I'm building my city people! On Rock and Roll!"

"You just overdid it." said Kit pulling Artie away by the back of his shirt and shoving the student through the door.

"Ow!" he cried as they exited.

* * *

Kit was luckily able to find the same captain who had brought Puss, Donkey, and herself to the Academy.

Artie, Puss, and Donkey were helping to load the ship. Kit was secretly talking to Siv.

"_Now _what do you think you're up to?" asked Siv.

"We're going to the shores of the island." said Kit. She didn't mention anything about taking a ship.

Siv thought for a moment. "Alright... You can do it there," then she leaned closer to Kit, "There are some nice high cliffs up there." she whispered, smiling. She turned around and slowly left the scene.

"THAT'S NOT THE REASON WHY WE'RE GOING!" yelled Kit, at the top of her lungs.

Artie suddenly ran up to her, followed by Puss and Donkey. "What's wrong, Kit?" he asked.

Kit was surprised at his sudden appearance, but it was clear to her that he didn't see Siv. "Uh... Nothing. I was just looking at the view."

Artie also began looking. They were standing on a cliff that overlooked a beautiful orange sunset. Below them was the ocean water that met the sandy shores of the island.

"Don't you want to say goodbye to anyone?" asked Kit.

"...No." he simply said, not bothering to turn his head away from the view.

For no real reason, Kit looked behind her. She noticed Siv by some trees, clocked by their shadows.

Siv was smiling, and was looking straight at Kit. Siv had her arms stretched out in front of her as if she was trying to mimic a pushing action. It looked as if she was pushing an invisible person that was in front of her.

_Go on._ she mouthed.

The rocks below Kit and Artie seemed to look sharper and more sinister than they did before. The rush of the waves hitting the rocks sounded much louder to Kit.

She placed her hands on Artie's shoulders.

"Come on, let's get on board the ship. The Captain says that we have to sleep until next mourning before we can set sail." said Kit, quickly steering Artie towards the ship and away from the rocks.

They both joined Puss and Donkey on the ship. It had a slight resemblance to an old viking ship, and displayed its title proudly on its side in gold letters: H.R.M CRUSHING RESPONSIBILITY II.

_I wonder why it's called that._ thought Kit.

* * *

**A/N: Now would be a good time to guess what Kit wants with Artie in a review. I really, really, _really_want to see what you can come up with. Also, 'H.R.M CRUSHING RESPONSIBILITY II' actually was the name of the real ship used in the Shrek the Third movie. It's hard to read, but it's there.**


	9. The Ship

It was the middle of the night, and Kit hadn't had a wink of sleep since she was on the ship. It still wasn't going anywhere, the boat was anchored to the sand until mourning.

Kit stared at the shadows, with a slight pain in her stomach telling her that it was far, far from over.

A large rat scurried past some barrels that were on the ship. Kit didn't mind. She wasn't afraid.

Kit turned to look at Artie, who sleeping peacefully, curled up like a cat. Then she heard a loud squeal of pain behind her. She turned back to see the rat lying on its side, with a large arrow sticking through it.

Kit looked up as Siv protruded out of the shadows with a crossbow in her hands. She chuckled. "And that's all there is to it."

"You killed it." said Kit.

"It was its time to go and he went. I just opened the door. Isn't it time you did the same thing to Arthur?"

"Look Siv... I can't kill Artie."

"I do wish you'd stop making such a big deal about it. It's supposed to be your _job_ to kill him. All you have to do is to see him to the end."

The words stung Kit's heart as Siv continued. "Prince Charming hiring us as mercenaries, assassins, to kill the last heir so that he can be king. Any of this ringing a bell? I remember how you agreed to this assignment when you first got it." Siv threw the crossbow to Kit, who caught it.

"...But I like him."

"Emotion doesn't come into it. Honestly, this was supposed to be the easiest mission in the _history _of easy missions!" said Siv, "The boy has absolutely no combat skills whatsoever."

Kit quickly spoke up for Artie. "You're wrong about that. Artie now knows how to joust. He's even better than Lancelot."

Siv looked unimpressed at this.

"Look, put me on someone else, please." begged Kit.

"No. You've got to learn with the Pendragon boy. And you're gonna learn if it kills you." said Siv as she walked out of view, going back to the area of the large ship that she had hid in.

Siv was gone. Kit looked at the crossbow in her hands, and then at the sleeping Artie, for the last time.

Slowly, she held up the crossbow, closing one eye to properly aim. Kit pointed her weapon at Artie's chest, in the area right where the heart was. And though her hands where shaking nervously like a frighted hare, she knew she didn't have a hope in hell of missing such an easy shot. He was, after all, only three feet away from her.

Taking a deep breath, she placed her finger on the trigger, getting ready to fire it. To end Artie's life.

"I'm so sorry Artie..." she whispered, her eyes watering.

As the clouds in front of the moon cleared, its sliver light lit Artie's woolen Academy uniform, then the shine of his blond hair, almost whitely luminous. His sleeping face was beautiful past any she had seen before. To Kit, he was now undoubtedly the most handsome boy ever to have lived. In times gone by, and times to come, there could never be a face so handsome, so princely.

All of the memories of her being with Artie flashed past her, she realized how the life she led before seemed so meaningless, so worthless. Artie had given Kit just as much happiness as Kit had given Artie at the Academy.

Then and there, Kit resolved to protect Artie forever, and to never harm him.

* * *

Morning eventually came. The boat was launched into the water, creating large waves as it cut through the open sea. Artie smiled as he watched Worcestershire Island and its Academy shrinking away on the horizon.

"I can't believe it... me a King? I...I mean I knew I came from royalty and all, but, I just figured everyone forgot about me." said Artie, looking out to sea in disbelief, excited at the idea of being King.

"Oh no, in fact, the King asked for you personally." lied Kit. She wanted Artie to like the idea of being King. The last thing she wanted was for Artie to demand going back to Worcestershire, which was possible due to Artie's lack of confidence. To Kit, it seemed okay to lie. It _was_ for Artie's own protection.

Artie smiled. "Really? Wow. I...Look, I know it's not all gonna be fun and games."

"It really is all fun and games, actually. Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two..."

"It's gonna be great, Artie. You'll be living in the lap of luxury. They got the finest chefs around waiting for you to place your order." said Donkey, walking up to them.

Puss jumped up onto the railing next to Donkey.

"And fortunately you'll have the royal food tasters." said Puss.

Artie looked at him, intrigued. "Oh yeah? What do they do?"

"They taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not, uh, poisoned."

"What? Poisoned?" asked Artie in alarm.

Kit sensed trouble and immediately stepped in. "Or too salty!" she quickly said.

"Don't worry about it, Artie. You'll be safe and sound with the help of your body guards." said Donkey.

"Body guards!"

"All of them, willing at a moment's notice to lay down their own lives out of devotion to you." replied Puss.

"Really?"

"That reminds me, who are you going to marry?" asked Puss.

"Marry?" asked Artie, raising an eyebrow, "Aren't I a little young?"

"He means when you get older." assured Kit.

"No, I heard that Kings always have to marry at a young age."

She turned to Puss and Donkey to give them a deadly look, trying to shut them up.

"Seriously?" asked Artie.

"_Si_, and the whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance."

Behind Artie, Kit mouthed 'shut-up' to Puss and Donkey.

"Just make sure they don't die of famine!"

"Or plague."

"Oh, plague is bad." nodded Donkey.

"The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores-"

Kit interrupted with a mock laugh.

"Ha-ha! Oh! Festering sores! Hey, you are one funny kitty cat."

Puss looked at her, confused. "What did I say?" he shrugged.

"We don't want Artie here getting the wrong idea." said Kit, motioning to Artie, but then realized that he was gone. They all looked around.

"Uh, Artie?" asked Kit.

The boat suddenly jerked violently to the right. Kit braces herself by grabbing firmly onto the ship's railing, while Puss and Donkey tumbled away.

"Whoa!"

Artie swung the wheel around, sending the boat back in the direction of his school. Kit worked her way towards the main deck to gain control of the wheel.

The drunken Ship Captain slid by. "Whoa! Oh, there goes my hip."

"Artie! What are you doing!" yelled Kit, turning the wheel the other way.

The ship turned again, heading back toward Far Far Away. Artie fell to the ground and slid to the back of the boat. A shuffle board stick lay beside him. Artie grabbed it.

"What does it look like!" he yelled back, jamming it into the ship's wheel. The boat lurched, the force of it sliding Kit to the back of the boat where Artie was. Artie swung the boat back in the other direction. Kit rose up and grabbed the wheel to turn it.

"This really isn't up to you!" she shouted.

Artie fell underneath the wheel. He stood back up, trying to shove the wheel back the other way.

"But I don't know anything about being King!"

"You'll learn on the job!" Both of them strained to to the wheel in opposite directions.

Donkey and Puss rolled uncontrollably across the deck. "Whoaaa!" yelled Donkey as Puss hissed.

On the left side, Kit grabbed the wheel and turned it around. On the right side, Artie yanked on the wheel. They neither of them could get full control of it.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm going back!" said Artie, pulling with all his might.

Kit looked at him angrily. "Back to what? Being a loser!"

As soon as the word leaves her lips, Kit knew that she went too far. Hurt, Artie let go of the wheel, leaving Kit to yank hard on it. From the force, she pulled the ship's wheel right out of steering column of the deck!

Kit held the wheel in her hands. "Now look what you did!"

"Look what _I_ did! Who's holding the wheel!" said Artie.

**"KIIIIIIITTTTTTT!"** yelled Donkey. Everyone turned to see Donkey pointing his hoof at the jagged rocks ahead of them. Both Kit and Artie's expressions of anger turned into worry.

Kit desperately tried to fit the wheel back into the steering column and tried to steer the ship clear of the rocks. But it was no use, the wooden axis on the wheel was completely severed from the steering column's axis, making the thing useless.

Within seconds, the boat crashed into the rocks.

"Land ho!" yelled the Captain.

* * *

**A/N: I drew a some more pictures featuring Kit and Artie. You can find the link for it in my profile page.**

**Read and Review please! Remember, even if you don't have an account, you can still send in a review. :)**


	10. Shipwrecked

Kit, holding Puss on her shoulder, and Donkey beside her, staggered onto the small beach of the island. Somehow, both Kit and Puss both managed to keep their hats from leaving their heads as the swam for shore. The Captain (who was still on the jagged rocks) was trying to fix the wreckage of the trashed boat.

She glared back at Artie, who had pulled himself out of the surf. Kit dropped Puss next to Donkey as she threw herself into the sand, exhausted.

Puss, tired of being wet, shook himself vigorously like a wet dog. His fur immediately puffed up like a giant hairball.

"How humiliating..." he said, dropping his head in shame and marching away from the water.

Kit, still on her hands and knees, soaking wet, looked up angrily at Artie. "Oh, nice going, _Your Highness_."

Artie, also completely soaked, turned to her, equally mad. "Oh, so now it's 'Your highness'? What happened to 'loser'? Huh?"

"Hey!" Kit got up and walked to him, "If you think this is getting you out of anything, well it isn't," Artie rolled his eyes as Kit continued, "We're heading back to Far Far Away one way, or another, and you're gonna be killed!"

Artie raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Puss and Donkey stared at Kit uncomfortably. Kit looked at everyone, puzzled.

"What is it?"

Clearing his throat, Donkey whispered next to her. "You just said 'killed'..."

Kit was too angry to really care. "You're... I said king. You're gonna be King!"

Artie imitated Kit's voice, badly since he was a boy. "_'You're gonna be King!'_ Yeah right."

Artie shook his head and marched down the beach toward a path leading into the woods.

"Where do you think you're going!" yelled Kit.

Artie started climbing over some rocks. "Far Far Away... from you!"

"You get back here Artie, and I mean it!"

Artie kept on climbing.

Puss tugged on Kit's black trousers. "Uh boss, I don't think he's coming back. Maybe it's for the best. He is not exactly king material."

Kit looked towards Artie. Her rage was cooling down. "We can't just leave him here to die, can we?"

"It doesn't matter if we sail him half-way around the world," said Donkey, "Siv will find him."

"You can't be sure of that. Far Far Away seems like the safest place for him."

Kit started to go off after Artie, but Donkey jumped in front of her.

"Hey, woah, Kit. Then you're gonna have to change your tactics if you want to get _anywhere_ with this guy."

Kit sighed. "You're right, Donkey."

She looked down, and picked up a large piece of driftwood.

"What about _this_?" asked Kit, holding it as if it were a battle axe.

Puss shook his head in disgust. Donkey looked at her, shocked. "Kit!"

"Oh c'mon. It's just a joke," she laughed, throwing it aside. "Still..."

Kit walked off, trying to catch up to Artie. Puss and Donkey followed her.

* * *

As Kit walked through the woods, she noticed how the leaves were now turning into shades of orange and crimson red. It was Fall. Autumn.

Then Kit heard footsteps behind her, Puss, and Donkey. They weren't Artie's footsteps, but Siv's.

"You fool."

Donkey yelped in fear and hid behind Kit.

"Oh, be quiet, you animal." said Siv.

"Oh no, not you Siv." said Kit.

They kept walking through the woods, Siv moved beside Kit, her hands in her pockets.

"What did you hope to achive? Why did you bother getting Artie on the ship?"

"It was Sir Galahad, you see." said Kit.

"Sir Galahad?"

"Yes. You see, if he hadn't been there, his team would have won the tournament."

"Which gave you the childish idea that if you weren't at the Academy, Arthur wouldn't die."

"...It's not _that_ childish."

Siv stopped walking and sat on a nearby treestump. "I despair for you sometimes."

Kit sat down beside her while Puss and Donkey sat away form them. "Let's face it sis." said Kit, "I'm not cut out for it, am I? I'm not temperamentally suited to be a royal assassin."

"Do you realize how much of a disappointment you are to me?" asked Siv.

Kit sighed. "I'm sorry. Nevermind. Perhaps I could make you proud of me by making myself useful in some _other_ field of work?"

"Oh no. You haven't got a choice. Arthur's time is up and so is yours."

"That's a cruel thing to say." said Kit.

"You're not using you words properly! It isn't cruel, it isn't kind. It isn't fair, it isn't unfair. It just _is_. It's emotionless. We just do our jobs, get paid, and that's it."

"So why do I have emotions and you don't? Why do I like to laugh? Why do I care about him?" asked Kit.

Siv shrugged.

"Doesn't that make a difference?" asked Kit.

"No, it does not. You are still my little sister."

"Alright, but look: Artie hasn't had a proper life yet. Couldn't he have an extension?"

"An extension?"

"Yeah. Just some time to... well... live? Please sis? For Artie's sake?"

"Alright," said Siv, getting up, "Three days."

"Three _days_!" yelled Kit, also getting up, "I was thinking more along the line of twenty years!"

"Three days." repeated Siv, walking away.

Kit looked at her angrily. "I don't know what I ever saw in you!"

* * *

Kit continued walking up the mountain trail.

Suddenly, she spotted Artie. He was walking through a clearing where a boiling soup pot sat over a fire in front of a small moss-covered shack.

Out of pure curiosity, Artie knocked on its bark door.

"Uh... Hello?" he said.

Kit, Puss, and Donkey followed him into the camp.

Suddenly, a burst of light shot out of a candle box that hung on the door. A bright, colorful image of an old wizard's head projected out.

Donkey screamed again. "AHHHH!"

The wizard head spoke. "Greetings cosmic children of the universe. Welcome to my serenity circle!"

The four of them watched nervously as the projection continued. "Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. And now, prepare to-"

With a "FZZZZT" and a "BLOOP", the image disappeared.

The door opened and a old man, Merlin, walked out.

"Oh! I knew I should of gotten that warranty!"

Merlin hit the strange device and is promptly zapped on the head.

"AHH! Ow, ow, gah, eee, oh, ow!"

"Mr. Merlin?" asked Artie slowly, in a bewildered voice."

"You know this guy?" asked Kit.

"Yeah. He was the school's magic teacher. Until he had his nervous breakdown."

Merlin walked up to them. "Uh, technically I was _merely_ a victim of a level three fatigue, and at the request of my therapist, -and the school authorities- I have retired to the tranquility of nature, to discover my divine purpose."

Kit and Artie stared in astonishment.

"Now, can I interest anyone in a snack or beverage?"

"Uh... no." said Kit.

Merlin offered them a baking dish full of rocks.

"Sure you don't wanna try my famous _rock au-gratin_?" Useing a spoon, Merlin scraped out a piece, took a bite, and started chewing loudly, "It's organic!"

Kit, Artie, Puss, and Donkey all stared at him uncomfortably.

"No thanks," said Kit, "I just ate a boulder on the way in," She grabbed Artie's arm, "What we need are directions back to Far Far Away."

Artie pulled his arm away. "What's with the 'we'? Who said I was going with you?"

"Oh, I did. Cause there's a lot of people counting on you, so don't try and weasel out of it."

"If it's such a great job, why don't you do it?"

Kit was getting mad again. "Understand this, it's no more Little Miss Nice Girl from here on out!"

"Oh, so that was your 'Little Miss Nice Girl'?"

"I know, and I'm gonna miss her." smirked Kit.

"You know what? Why don't you go find a difficult hedge maze to get lost in, and leave me alone!"

"Listen up! You get your royal highness to Far Far Away before I _kick_ it there." Kit turned to Merlin, "Now, which way am I kicking?"

"Oh, I could tell you. But since you're in the midst of self-destructive rage spiral, it would be karmic-ly irresponsible."

"Self-destructive ra- Look! Are you gonna help us or not?"

"Most definitely, but only after you take the journey _to your soul!_"

"What?" asked Kit.

"You know a sort-of séance*, an attempt to communicate with the spirits." said Merlin.

_*A/N: Séance is pronounced 'say-aunce'._

Kit rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I don't think so."

"Look kid, it's either that, or some primal scream therapy." said Merlin, giving them a demonstration, "Yaaaahhhhhhh!"

Kit quickly covered Merlin's mouth.

"Alright, alright! Journey to the soul..."

* * *

**A/N: Don't worry, the reason why Puss and Donkey are with Kit will be revealed soon.**

**Read and Review!**


	11. The Fire of Truth

**A/N: This is a very long chapter. I highly recommend readers to toggle the light/dark theme to 'dark' for this chapter. This is because the dark theme can offer enhanced eye comfort when reading for an extended period of time. The toggle is located on the top right-hand side of the page.**

* * *

Kit, Artie, Puss, and Donkey all had to wait until nightfall for the séance to begin. They sat on some logs as a fire blazed in front of them.

Eventually, Merlin came out of his hut, dragging along a large instrument. He sat down in front of the fire.

Kit stared at him. "I have to ask. Why the bassoon?" she asked pointing at Merlin's musical instrument.

"Harmony my dear lady. Those beyond respond to the vibrations of music. Now, as I play, just try to say 'hello'."

Merlin blew into the bassoon, which made a loud "HONK" sound.

"Hello." said Donkey.

"HONK!"

"Hello." repeated Donkey.

"HONK!"

"Hello... Hello."

Merlin stopped. "What are you doing?"

"He's taking you literally." smiled Kit.

"No, I didn't mean _say_ hello," said Merlin, "Just _think_ it. Ready?"

Merlin started playing again. The bassoon blurted and honked loudly. Everyone stared around as the annoying 'music' played.

"Oh! Perhaps I should try my panpipes." he said, taking out a small set of hand-made panpipes out of his pocket. He began playing them, surprisingly well. So much so that everyone was disappointed when the music stopped.

"Yes, that's lovely," said Merlin, putting the panpipes down, "Now, let me just center myself."

Merlin closed his eyes and became very quiet. Everyone leaned forward to see him.

"Has he fallen asleep?" whispered Kit.

Artie shrugged. "Are you asleep Mr. Merlin?" he asked.

"No, I'm nearly there," said Merlin in a relaxed, light-headed voice, as if he was some sort of mystic. He sighed, "Aah...Yes," then he gasped and quickly opened his eyes, "Oh! I've picked something up. It's a presence. Oh dear, it's a deathly presence..."

Kit suddenly looked very nervous as Merlin continued.

"It's in these woods." he said with fear.

"Is it really?" asked Artie sarcastically, who wasn't buying any of this.

"Yes, there's danger for you here. Something's going to happen to you." said Merlin.

Artie rolled his eyes.

Merlin quickly got up. "I've lost all my inner-harmony, I have to go inside and recuperate." he said as he picked up the bassoon and went back into his shack.

"Well, that was very interesting," smiled Donkey, without a hint of sarcasm in his voice, "What should we play now?"

* * *

After a few short minutes of 'recouperation', Merlin stepped out of his hut.

"Now, all of you," he said, clutching something in his hand, "Look, into the 'Fire of Truth', and tell me what you see!"

He threw a handful of blue powder into the fire, it flared up, creating blue smoke.

Merlin made a loud wild war cry. "Yah! Ha! Woo-looo-looo-looo!"

Everyone looked at the blue smoke as it started to swirl around, forming unidentifiable objects.

Puss and Donkey, excited, sat by the fire.

"Ooo! Charades!" said Donkey, excitedly jumping up and down, "Okay, I see a-uh-a dutch fudge torte, with cinnamon swirls!"

"Okay. You first," said Merlin, pointing at Kit, "Go for it."

Kit rolled her eyes and leaned forward to have a closer look at the fire. Like Arte, Kit wasn't taking any of this seriously, even though Merlin's first premonition seemed quite accurate. But something began to take shape in the smoke. Kit squinted hard as the image grew bigger. It was almost as if the image was more like a series of images moving. The blue smoke seemed to pull at Kit's very soul, making everything else around her -Artie, Puss, Merlin, the forest, and Donkey- disappear into the growing darkness. Nothing else mattered except the smoke, the fire, and Kit. She was falling into a sort-of trance as the smoke pulled her into it, transporting her to a new destination.

* * *

Kit was very confused. As far as she could remember, she was in Merlin's camp. Now she was in The Poisoned Apple Inn, the place where she stayed in before she went to Artie's Academy.

Kit turned to see a singing witch who was holding a microphone in her hand. The witch was to singing "I've Never Been To Me" by Nancy Wilson. The bar was filled with various Fairy-tale Villains. Two pirates sat forlornly with their mugs. The Puppet Master took a drink out of a beer mug. He put it down with the rest of the empty beer mugs surrounding him.

Two talking trees where arm-wrestling each other. Kit wasn't surprised by these things. She was used to them at the Poisoned Apple Inn. But the next thing she saw made her _very_ surprised: Herself.

At one of the tables sat Siv, another Kit, Puss, and Donkey.

_How can this be happening!_ thought the real Kit.

She ran to the table and looked at Donkey.

"Donkey! What the hell is going on!" she yelled.

The was no response from Donkey.

"Hello! Donkey! What is going on!" she tried to tap Donkey's head but her hand went right through him!

Kit looked at her hands. They were transparent! She looked down at her body. She could only somewhat see herself, yet at the same time she could see what was behind her.

That was when she fully realized that she was having a vision of her past, and that no one else could see or hear her.

The real Kit sat down on a chair next to the group.

Siv began to speak to the Other Kit. "Kit, I have trained you to be an assassin, so why don't you act like one?"

"I'm sorry..." the Other Kit replied. Both of them were wearing their matching uniforms that consisted of a pair of boots, a belt, gloves, a grayish-black shirt, and loose gray pants. There was a special assassin style of clothing that emphasized its dark, simple designs, yet at the same time emphasized the use of expensive fabrics and custom tailoring. Nothing too flashy. Nothing that would slow you down in combat.

"You know how to shoot, dodge, defend yourself, parry with a sword, _and_you know martial arts, yet you never accept a job involving murder."

Kit looked miserably at her glass. "I just don't like the idea of killing someone. Especially innocent people."

"It doesn't matter whether the person is good or bad, Kit. It's how much gold it costs to kill that person that we have to think about."

Suddenly, a man in a blue cape entered the bar. It was Prince Charming.

A group of villains next to the entrance turned to look at Prince Charming. Charming took off his cape and hung it on a nearby hatstand, which was really an evil tree, who flung the cape to the floor.

Everyone looked up to take notice as Prince Charming walked through the bar. A group of evil dwarves glared in Prince Charming's direction. Prince Charming walked by a pair of witches who were staring at him. He walked past Headless Horseman who turned to look at Charming. He walked by the singing witch who stopped singing at the sight of him. Even Siv looked up to take notice of Charming as he reached the bar, pulling out a handkerchief, placing it over the bar stool, and sat down.

Charming gestured to the bartender, who had her back to him. He cleared his throat. "What does a Prince have to do to get a drink around here?" he smiled.

"What is that jerk doing here?" Siv mumbled to herself. She turned back at Kit, ignoring Charming. "What do I have to do in order to get you to assassinate someone?"

"I don't know. At least I'm good at other jobs like stealing and stealth."

"Yes, but anyone can do that! I want you to do a job that requires the best of your abilities. Something challenging."

"I'll tell you what," said Kit, "I promise that I'll agree to the next mission you give me. Okay?"

Siv smiled at her. "Okay."

Suddenly, Prince Charming stood up and turned to the everyone in the bar.

"And I'll order a Fuzzy Navel for all my friends!"

Captain Hook ripped his hook across the piano keys. The singing witch bared her teeth. The other witches broke their cue sticks. The Puppet Master smashed his beer mug down. Everyone started yelling angrily at Charming. Kit's table seemed to be the only group of people who were ignoring everyone. Siv liked to keep to herself until it was necessary.

"We're not your friends." said Captain Hook as everyone got up and started walking towards Charming.

Prince Charming was starting to grow nervous. The villains all approached Prince Charming, surrounding him. From behind the bar, Mabel grabbed Charming by his shoulders and pinned him on top of the bar table.

Captain Hook placed his hook against Prince Charming's neck. "You... don't belong here." said Captain Hook menacingly.

"You're right. Of course! Y-You're absolutely right! But I mean, do any of us?"

"Do a number on his face!" said a cyclops.

"No, no, wait, wait, wait!" yelled Charming, pushing the hook away. "We are more alike than you think."

Prince Charming jumped off the table and turned to the evil Queen.

"Wicked Witch. The Seven Dwarves, saved Snow White and then what happens?"

"Oh, what's it to you?" she angrily replied.

"They left you the un-fairest of them all. And now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. How does that feel?"

Everyone turned to look a her.

"...Pretty unfair." she said, her eyes watering.

Prince Charming began to work the crowd.

"And you?" said Charming, pointing at the Puppet Master, "Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father."

"I hate that little wooden puppet." he sniffed. A talking tree placed his barky hand on the man's shoulder.

Then Prince Charming turned to Captain Hook.

"And Hook... Need I say more?" he said, looking down at the hook.

Captain Hook backed off, feeling insecure about his disability.

Then Prince Charming turned to point at a little man sitting at a table. "And you! Frumpypigskin."

"Rumpelstiltskin." corrected the man.

"Where's that first-born you were promised, eh?"

Rumpelstiltskin looked down sadly.

Charming then confronted the barmaid.

"Mabel, remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot into that tiny glass slipper?"

Mabel sighed sadly.

"Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now, eating Bon Bons, cavorting with every little last fairy-tale creature that has ever done you wrong!"

Prince Charming now has everyone's attention.

"Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. There are two sides to every story. And our side has not been told!"

This got Siv's attention. The crowd listened excitedly.

"So, who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their happily. Ever. After?"

The crowd of villains started cheering. A bar room brawl ensued. Prince Charming looked on, satisfied.

"I sense a job opportunity." said Siv, getting up. She gestured for the Kit, Puss, and Donkey to follow her. The real Kit also followed them.

Siv walked up to Charming. "You want to be King? It that it?" she asked.

"Well, uh, yes." said Charming simply.

"Then I have some information that might interest you, follow me." She turned to lead Charming into an inn room.

As the Other Kit, Puss, and Donkey tried to follow, Siv turned around to stop them.

"You three stay here." she said, closing the door.

The real Kit who was watching all this simply walked through the closed door. This was getting interesting, since Kit never knew exactly what happened when Siv was talking privately with Charming.

Charming and Siv sat opposite each other by a round table, while the invisible Kit stood between them.

"What do you mean by 'information that might interest me'?" asked Charming.

Siv pulled out a small black notebook. Kit remembered it. The notebook contained information about everything: Maps of Far Far Away's secret tunnels and sewage systems, road maps, forest maps, and history about every person in the land, information that most people thought was lost. All written down in that tiny little book. All of its information was obtained by Siv's mercenary guild.

Siv flipped through it quickly and then showed Charming a page. "Do you know what this is?" she asked.

Charming shrugged. The writing was too small for him to read. "No."

"This is the family tree of the Pendragon family."

"So?" asked Charming, not getting it.

"Apart from Queen Lillian -who by law can't rule the Kingdom unmarried- there is only one other alive heir to the thrown: Arthur Pendragon!"

"I've never heard of him." said Charming.

"You wouldn't. He is currently in a high school Academy on Worcester Island."

"Then he doesn't matter." said Charming, getting up.

"But if you try to take the thrown with _him _alive, he could raise enough moral on the villagers to start a rebellion against you!" said Siv.

Charming considered this and sat back down. "What do you want _me_ to do about it then?"

"_You_ don't have to do anything. I can get one of my best assassins to... _take care of him_. Of course I'll cost you a large sum of gold."

Charming pulled out a large bag of gold out of his pocket and handed it to Siv. She examined it to see if it was a large-enough amount.

She smiled. "I'll see what I can do."

Charming left the room. Siv then told Kit, Puss, and Donkey to get in, which they did.

"I've got an assignment for you." said Siv to Kit.

"Already?" asked Kit, "Can I take Puss and Donkey?" asked Kit.

"You can't take Puss, he'll stick out like a sore thumb!" yelled Siv.

Although Siv respected Puss for his excellent swordsmanship, she knew how a cat wearing a feathered hat and a pair of boots would fit into an Academy full of teens. Puss joined their assassin's guild simply because he wanted to (though money was also a contributing factor), whereas Donkey was mainly there to be a morality pet because Kit saved him from a hunter who was chasing him in the woods.

Then Siv turned to Donkey. "And this... _cabbage_!" she yelled with great anger, as if she was annoyed at just the thought of Donkey, "The very _idea_ of sending him on another mission is ridiculous. Especially after the dreaded and infamous Potion Factory Incident."

"Yes, but that was quite a while ago. Everyone makes mistakes. That was just a minor slip-up on Donkey's part." said Kit.

"A minor _'slip-up'_! Hundreds of people's lives were irreparably damaged - because of HIM!" yelled Siv, pointing at Donkey.

"They were only gnomes." replied Donkey.

Siv stared at him angrily. "Gnomes are people too! My God, the strings I hand to pull to keep the Fairy Godmother from getting involved. I don't even want to _think_ about it!"

Kit nodded. She also remembered that episode.

It was supposed to be a very easy mission: Kit would disguise herself as one of the workers, Donkey would keep watch by the door, and Puss would get inside the factory, steal the potion Siv wanted, and then leave. Unfortunately, Donkey didn't keep watch properly. The result: The three of them were caught, chased, and had to flood the entire factory with magic potion (turning all of the worker gnomes into pigeons) in order to escape.

Kit still wasn't sure how Siv managed to keep the Fairy Godmother from finding out about it. That's what Kit liked about Siv: No matter how mad she was, she (Siv) always bailed her (Kit) out.

"Oh, please Siv! Say they can come!" begged Kit in a moaning lost-puppy voice.

Siv raised an eyebrow at Kit, thoroughly considering. Then she sighed heavily. "Oh, alright. Puss and the Moron can come." she grumbled, defeated.

"Yes!" yelled Kit, high-fiveing Puss and Donkey, "So what do I have to do?"

"You are go to go to the Academy on Worcestershire Island. I need you to find someone there. Someone who is the last heir to the thrown of Far Far Away. You are to find him... and then kill him."

"Um, may I ask why?"

"Charming wants to get rid of him so that he himself can be King. He has offered us a very large sum of gold." replied Siv, "And discretion is very important. Enter the Academy, find the heir, kill him, and then leave. Only I, Puss, and Donkey will know who -and what- you are."

"Wont that be difficult to hide?" asked Kit.

"Just make sure that you keep your hat on and nobody will know."

"And what about my eyes?" asked Kit, pointing at her golden irises.

"You'll just have to try and not make any eye-contact with anyone. That'll be tricky, I grant you, but just try to avert your eyes when you talk to people."

"But Siv, this isn't really _my_ area."

"Nothing is _your_ area Kit. You do not _have_ an area. Unless it's a kind of a _play_ area, with sandcastles, and buckets, and spades! Now do what you're told!"

"Okay! Okay!" assured Kit.

"Since this _is_ the first time you've done this, you can do whatever you want to ease your way into it. Anything you want. Just make sure that it gets done!"

"Alright... I'll do it." said Kit.

"Excellent!"

"But what's my victim's name?"

"His name," smiled Siv, giving a small pause to add suspense, "...is Arthur Pendragon."

* * *

**A/N: Read and Review! :)**


	12. Arthur's Past

The vision of Siv faded into darkness. Kit, the real Kit, reappeared in front of the camp fire. She gasped and was breathing heavily, her heart was thumping rapidly. Kit turned to see Merlin, Puss, Donkey, and Artie staring back at her confused. They obviously didn't see any of Kit's vision.

Kit had no idea how long she had been staring at the fire, she _did_ know however,

She began to search her mind. "I see... uh, a... a tree!" she said quickly. It was the only thing she could think of and they _were_ surrounded by them.

"Excellent work!" said Merlin. Then he turned to Artie, "Now the boy!"

"This is lame."

Merlin whacked Artie on the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"You're lame! Just go for it!" said Merlin, tossing more powder into the flames, causing more blue smoke appear.

Artie rolled his eyes, but then leaned forward to study it. "Okay... There's a baby bird, and a... father bird sitting in a nest."

Merlin started beating a handmade tribal drum. "Yes! Yes! Stay with it! Stay with it!"

Artie's expression began to change as he stayed more focused. "Wait, the dad just flew away. Why did he leave the little bird all alone?"

Kit couldn't see anything in the smoke. She started to take this in as she watched Artie, who was get more and more worked up.

"It-It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. ...It... it's gonna fall!"

Suddenly, Artie realized what he'd just said. As the smoke drifted away, he turned to see everyone else staring back at him, stunned.

"Whew, proper head case you are, aren't you? Really messed up. Whoa." said Merlin, retreating back into his hut.

After they heard the door of the hut close, Kit, Puss, and Donkey all stared at Artie.

He turned away from them. "Yeah, yeah, okay. I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what?"

Donkey tapped Kit's knee with his hoof to silently tell her to go over and talk to Artie.

Kit, hesitating, inched her way across the log she was sitting on to sit closer to Artie. When she was right beside him, she quietly cleared her throat.

"Look Artie... um-"

Just as she was about to start, _'That's What Friends Are For'_ started playing loudly from Merlin's candle box lantern, drowning out any chance of a conversation. They all turned to the hut. Merlin was peeking out of the door.

He began yelling over the loud music. "Just thought I might help set the mood! Y'know, for your big heart-to-heart chat!"

Everyone stared back at him.

Sheepishly, he turned off the device and closed the door. Everything was quiet again. Artie started poking the fire with a stick.

Kit began again. "I know what it's like to not... feel ready for something."

Artie, who was staring at the fire, turned look at her.

"Everyone gets scared...you know, once in a while."

"I know you want me to be king... but I can't. I'm not cut out for it and I never will be, alright?"

Kit listened as Artie continued.

"Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. He dumped me at that school the first chance he got, and... I never heard from him again."

Kit sighed. "At least you know what your dad _looks_ like... I've never even seen my father."

"Yeah, well, I doubt he was worse than mine."

"Oh yeah? My father abandoned me when I just a baby. Then I lived with my mother and sister. But then there was a fire in the house that we lived in. My sister and I survived but our mother..." Kit looked down at the fire, a sad expression reflected in her eyes despite the warm glow of the fire.

Artie look at Kit with sympathy.

"Okay... I guess that's... pretty bad." he said softly, turning to continue poking at the fire.

Kit began speaking again. "You know, it may be hard to believe, what with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think that I was a villain. And for a long time... I believed them."

Artie looked up at Kit, interested in what she was going to say next. Her eyes illuminated both innocence and wisdom.

"But after awhile, you learn to ignore the names that people call you and... you just trust who you are."

Artie gently pokes at the embers with a stick for a moment, taking in what Kit said.

"Do you know what you should do?" asked Kit.

"No... But you're going to tell me."

"True. You want to turn yourself 180 degrees, so that instead of always looking back at your yesterdays, you are looking forward into all your tomorrows."

"You make it sound so simple..."

"I'm a simple person." replied Kit.

"No you're not." said Artie, smiling softly. He stared at the fire for a moment, deep in thought.

"Thanks Kit." he finally said as he tossed the stick into the fire.

The group settled down to sleep as the fire continued to burn.

A twig snapped. Kit looked out towards the edge of the woods where the sound seemed to have come from. Then she turned back to look at Artie. He was already asleep.

"Kit." said a voice.

"Siv." replied Kit.

"Come over here, I want to talk to you." said Siv, making a beckoning motion with her finger.

Kit, as quietly as she could, got up and silently walked up to Siv. "Alright... What do you want?"

"I want to know what you're still doing here?"

"You gave Artie an extension. You said that he could live for another three days."

"I didn't say that you could _stay_ with him for another three days. Just come back on the last day and kill him."

"But I've got to stay with him!"

"Why?" asked Siv.

"He's really coming to life!"

"That's a silly choice of words for an assassin."

"But he is! Only a few minutes ago we had a nice heart-to-heart moment, and he's warming up to the idea of being King."

"I'm not interested. I've got work for you elsewhere."

"What sort of work?" asked Kit.

"Obituary columns don't write themselves, you know."

_*A/N: An "obituary column" in the Middle Ages was a written account of someone who had just died._

"Oh...? What if I said 'No'?"

"What?"

"Say I said that I won't leave Artie. Say I said... 'It's a battle between my will against yours'?" she said, grinning an evil grin that would've made Lancelot run in fear.

Siv suddenly lunged at Kit, swiping her hands at Kit as if they were claws.

Kit braced herself as the two of them landed on the ground on top of each other. Siv was on top of Kit, their heads facing inches away from each other as Siv was pinning Kit to the ground by her shoulders. Kit (noticing that her legs where still free) kicked Siv in the stomach with such force that she was thrown into the air and landed with the air knocked out of her.

Then Siv (still on the ground) whipped her leg under Kit's feet, causing her to trip over. Siv took this chance to pin Kit to the ground. Siv, triumphant, leaned down to whisper in Kit's ear.

"You go... where I put you."

Kit tried to wriggle free, but it was no use. "Alright sis, you've proved your point, haven't you? But I can't just leave him, can I?"

Siv let go of Kit, letting her stand up again. "Puss and the moron Donkey can stay, but you're leaving!"

"Oh please." begged Kit.

"Noon tomorrow, you're out of that camp, on a boat back to Far Far Away."

"So the only time I see him again... is at the end?"

"You've got it."

Kit looked down sadly.

"Don't worry, you'll be back." smiled Siv.

"I hate your sense of humor!"

"But why not come with me now?"

"Because I want to spend my maximum time with Artie, that's why. And besides, how could I explain why I left them so suddenly? I couldn't tell Artie the truth!"

Siv stepped closer to Kit, giving her an eerie stare. "No, you wouldn't, would you?" said Siv, turning away.

Kit knew what that meant. Siv was threatening her to never reveal their secrets to Artie.

If they _did_get to Far Far Away, how would Kit be able to stop Siv from reaching Artie? Kit asked herself as she fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N: Read & review please! :)**


	13. Magic Trip

Kit woke up with a start. She quickly sat up and scratched her head, looking around with a dazed expression. She realized that it was morning, and that she was still in Merlin's camp.

Kit sensed the movement behind her and turned around... to find several evil trees starting to advance toward her.

The log Artie was sleeping on suddenly sat up, knocking Artie, who is still asleep, to the ground.

"Ow!" he yelled in pain. It had hit him right on the back of the head.

The log turned around to reveal that it too was an evil walking tree.

Puss leapt up, his paw on his rapier sword, ready to strike at any moment.

Then Donkey finally woke up, still half-asleep. "Huh? What did I miss? What did I - Ahhhhhhhh!" screamed Donkey, jolting up.

The evil trees continued to advance towards the four of them. There were no obvious exits. They were completely surrounded.

The sound of a piano was suddenly heard. Confused, Kit looked over the shoulder of one of the trees to see Hook playing a piano, which was being pushed by several other pirates. The music finished with a dramatic finale. Captain Hook quickly turned away from the keyboard to face them.

"Look out! They got a piano!" yelled Donkey, taking a step back, his ears lowered in fear.

"Kill 'em all. Except... the girl." said Captain Hook, staring hard at Kit, pointing his hooked prosthetic at her. "King Charming has something special in mind for you, demon!"

"_King_ Charming?" asked Kit, perplexed. Could they have really taken over Far Far Away so quickly?

"ATTAAAAACK!!!" yelled Captain Hook, who obviously wasn't the chatty-buddy type.

Out of nowhere, several pirates charged forward, swinging in from the tree branches.

The pirates closed in. Kit grabbed one of them by the collar and threw him to the side.

A pirate raised his sword and prepared to swing at Artie.

"Artie! Duck!" she yelled, pushing Artie's head down as the sword narrowly missed him. Before the pirate could prepare to swing again and Kit kicked him over the head using a martial arts movement, knocking him out. Kit and Artie shared a short-lived satisfied look, realizing that they still had a lot more pirates to fight.

A pirate charged at Donkey, his sword raised up above his head.

"Ahhhh!" yelled Donkey, his body locked in panic.

Puss jumped onto Donkey's head, drew his sword and began to fight off the pirate, protecting Donkey.

A pirate ran at Kit, only to be tripped by Artie. As the pirate staggered to gain his balance, Kit grabbed him by the back of his shirt and threw him to the ground.

Grabbing sturdy stick on the ground, Kit blocked several of the pirates' attacks. Seeing this, Artie did the same.

Kit was starting to really get the hang of it. The pirates were very easy to parry against.

Suddenly, instead of blocking a sword's attack, Kit was blocking the attack of someone wielding a dagger. The pressure it was applying to Kit's stick was extremely strong, as if Kit's 'weapon' could snap in two at any moment. She was fighting someone much stronger than a pirate.

"Siv!?!" asked Kit, "How did you get all of these guys over here? I thought that Captain Hook was in Far Far Away."

Siv lightened some of the pressure on her dagger so that they could talk with more ease. "That little boy in the green tights owed us a favor. Remember?" Siv replied.

"...So you _flew_ here!?!"

"That's right."

"Then what are you doing here? Artie's three days hasn't ended! And it's not noon yet!"

"Well, your inability to kill Artie suddenly gave me an idea for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

"Huh?"

"It got me to thinking how Charming and Artie are the only heirs to the throne. And although they seem so different, they both have two _very_ important things in common: They are both weak, and they are both naïve. Therefor, it would be very easy for our... organization to takeover."

"What!?!" asked Kit, too impatient to understand.

"You work it out Kit, like a good little assassin." said Siv, waiting to see Kit's reaction.

Then, in a flash of realization, it came to Kit. "You... plan on killing Artie _and_ Charming!?! So that **you** can rule the Kingdom!?!"

"You'd have a considerable amount of power too," replied Siv, "So just take Artie to Far Far Away and kill him there."

"But you gave Artie an extention!"

"That was then. This is now. And don't even think about trying to travel to Far Far Away alone, 'cause I'll know. I'll always be watching from the shadows. So make sure you take Arthur Pendragon with you."

"What makes you think I'll EVER agree to that!?!" yelled Kit.

Siv simply grinned an evil grin. The kind of grin that someone makes when they're about to do something verrry sneaky. Then, in a flash, Siv took her blade off Kit's branch and ran away, disappearing into the forest.

Kit shuddered. What plans did Siv have for Kit and her friends?

"Ready the cannon!" yelled Captain Hook, still playing the piano.

The pirates began to back Kit away from the others as Puss, Donkey, and Artie are trying to hold off the other villains.

Suddenly, Artie noticed a net underneath their feet. But it was too late, two evil trees scooped Puss, Donkey and Artie up in the net.

The pirates aimed the cannon at the three of them. They started to panic. Puss retracted on of his claws to try and cut through the netting. The pirates lit the fuse of the cannon.

"Kit!" yelled Donkey.

"Help!" yelled Artie.

Puss was furiously trying to cut the net open.

Kit turned to see the lit fuse and quickly formulated a plan. She quickly started pushing and shoving the pirates away, forcing herself over to the cannon. Kit tried licking her fingers (making them wet) and then touching the fuse to put the fire out. It didn't work. The fuse must have been waterproof. Then she began pushing the back of the cannon, trying to turning to the right so that it would miss her friends. The wheels on the bottom of the cannon started to turn. Kit began to push harder, beads of sweat started to from on her forehead and neck.

The fuse was almost gone. Artie and Donkey cringed while Puss tried harder.

At the last second, three things happened at once: 1) Kit was able to aim the cannon in the opposite direction. 2) Puss was able to cut the rope net, causing Donkey, Artie, and himself to fall out of it. And 3) The cannon fired and missed Puss, Donkey, and Artie - hitting Captain Hook's piano instead, blowing it to pieces.

Realizing their defeat, all of pirates and the evil trees began to run away in fear.

"Is everyone okay?" she asked, looking at each of her friends one by one. Suddenly Kit's face went even paler than usual, "Where's Puss?"

They all turned to see Puss in the distance - being carried under the knobbly arm of one of the evil trees. Puss meowed helplessly, trying to squirm out of the tree's grasp in vain.

Captain Hook turned and see his army running off.

"Ya cowards!" he yelled, shaking his hook in the air.

Kit marched over to Hook, her fists clenched in anger. "What has Siv done with Puss!?!"

"He's gonna get what's coming to him!" yelled Hook, raising his hook up threateningly. It quickly caught got on an evil tree's branch and was dragged away with the rest of the villains. "And there ain't nothing you can do to stop us!" Hook yelled back.

Kit's mind was filled with worry. _So this was how Siv planned on forcing them to go to Far Far Away_, she thought.

Artie, and Donkey ran over to Kit.

"We've got to save Puss! But he's so far far away!" said Donkey, fearing for his friend's life.

Kit thought for a moment. Perhaps Siv's threat was a lie. Perhaps not. Maybe she could convince him and Donkey to go back to the Academy while she traveled to Far Far Away alone.

"Artie, get yourself back to Worcestershire." said Kit, half-knowing what his answer would be.

"No, Kit! Hold on a second. I've got an idea."

Artie walked over to Merlin who was sitting cross-legged, deep in meditation.

"I'm a buzzing bee, buzz, buzz, buzz..." chanted Merlin, his eyes closed.

Artie approached him. "Mr. Merlin, they need a spell to get them... I mean, us, back to Far Far Away."

Merlin stopped meditating and looked out of the corner of his eye at Artie. He stood up and turned to face him.

"Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore, kid. How about a hug instead? Hmm? That's the best kind of magic." said Merlin, stretching his arms out for a hug.

Artie ignored the gesture and tried again. "Mr. Merlin, please! I know you can do it-"

"I said, forget it!"

"But-"

Merlin turned and started to walk away muttering under his breath.

"_Mumble, grumble,_ interrupt my healing. _Mumble, mumble._"

Artie thought for a moment, staring at Merlin. Suddenly, Artie started to sob. Kit and Donkey looked at him, confused.

Merlin stopped and turned around. "Oh. What, what's with you?"

Artie continued to cry.

"It's just so hard. You know? They really need to get back, 'cause their kingdom's in trouble. 'Cause there's a really bad man... and it's just so hard...!"

Merlin was visibly uncomfortable.

"Oh, c'mon, take it easy." said Merlin, trying to get Artie to stop.

Artie's blubbering started to become frustrated and unpredictable.

"NO! I don't think you understand!" cried Artie, kneeling to the ground, "There's a mean person doing mean things to good people-"

"Oh, have a heart old man!" said Kit, joining in.

Artie grabbed Merlin by the ankle, now desperate.

"And they really need your help to get them back! So why won't you help them!?!"

"Oh."

Artie spoke one last, inaudible line.

Merlin was stunned. He didn't know what to do.

"Uh, Okay... I'll go and get my things." said Merlin, who quickly went into his cave.

As soon as Merlin was out of sight, Artie stood up, immediately recovered, and cleared his throat, turning to Kit.

"Piece of cake."

Kit looked at him, impressed. "Well, well, well. You want some cheese with that whine?"

Artie smiled.

Merlin called Artie over to help him carry his things. Artie entered the old moss-covered shack while Kit stayed outside to try and reassure Donkey that everything was going to be okay.

"I really _did_ sense something last evening." said Merlin, still a bit flustered.

"I'm _sure_ you did." lied Artie, not even trying to sound believable.

Merlin, deep in thought, looked at Kit. Suddenly, the penny dropped. "It's her! It's your friend! _She's_ the deathly presence!"

Artie scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Oh please, give me a break. Kit's the liveliest person I've ever met."

Merlin and Artie returned to the center of the camp. Artie was carrying a spell book titled 'Magic for Knaves' while Merlin was putting on his old wizard's hat.

"Now, I _am_ a little rusty, so there could be some side effects..." said Merlin as Artie handed him the book.

"Side effects!?!" asked Donkey, getting anxious.

"Don't worry, whatever it is, no matter how excruciatingly painful it may be, it'll wear off eventually... I think."

Merlin cracked his knuckles. A bolt of lighting bolted out his hands and blew up a rock right next to Donkey.

"Ahhh!" yelled Donkey.

"Oops." said Merlin.

Donkey shot Kit a pleading look. "Are you sure this is a good idea!?!"

"Look, if Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me." said Kit.

Merlin started moving his hands around dramatically, starting the spell. "In the villain's den, take a evil knight and then, cluck! Clucky-cluck! With a little magic luck. We will make of him a- What? Wait a minute!" said Merlin, flipping a few pages of his magic book, "Oh dear! I've got the wrong spell! This is the 'Chicken-Changing Spell'! Oh dear, I'm so sorry, I keep getting them mixed up because they're next to each other in the index."

"What are?" asked Kit.

"The 'Transportation Spell' and the 'Chicken-Changing Spell'." replied Merlin.

"How can 'Transportation' starting with 'T', and 'Chicken-Changing' starting with 'C' be next to each other in an index!?!" asked Kit, her faith with the old geezer dropping by the second.

Merlin didn't hear her, he was too busy trying to prepare the spell.

Again, he began waving his hands around. "Alacraticious, expeditious, a zoomy zoom zoom. Let's help our friends get back, um... ... ... soon!"

Magic blue and gold rays shot out of Merlin's fingertips. The rays of light rapped themselves around Kit, Donkey and Artie, shooting them up into the air, disappearing like a bolt of lightning.

Merlin yelled in astonishment. "Woah! It worked!"

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**A/N: Read & review please.**


	14. Go Go Away

Somewhere above the woods, Kit, Artie, and Donkey reappeared out of the sky and bounced through the canopy of large trees. They ping-ponged through the foliage and landed in a heap at the base of a tree.

Kit and Artie moaned and groaned as they got up and brushed the dirt and twigs from their clothes.

Donkey stood up, feeling hungover.

"Oh man, I haven't been on a trip like that since college."

Kit looked around at their new surroundings. She turned to Artie. "You did it." said Kit, "You got us back Artie."

She pointed to Far Far Away, just a few miles ahead of them. Artie and Donkey smiled.

As they walked closer and closer to the city, Their smiles faded. They could tell that something was amiss. The sign beside the main entrance had been crudely boarded up and repainted, so that instead of it reading "Welcome to Far Far Away", it read "Go Go Away".

The trio passed the main entrance into Rodeo Drive.

"Woah!" said Artie.

Inside the kingdom, Rodeo Drive was completely trashed. There was graffiti and litter everywhere.

Suddenly, a carriage driven by two witches came zooming down the Drive.

The carriage zipped around a corner on two wheels. A drunken gnome was almost hit by the carriage while crossing the street.

"Hey... watch it! I'm walking here... and I'm gonna... keep going... until..." yelled the gnome as he collapsed onto the ground.

Kit, Artie, and Donkey all heard a crash off-screen. Then a carriage wheel on fire rolled by the three of them like a tumbleweed.

Kit turned back to her friend. "Artie, maybe you should go back and wait until the city gets rebuilt."

"I'm not leaving!" said Artie in a you-can't-change-my-mind-about-this sort of way, "And besides, we have to save Puss!"

Donkey spotted something interesting. He turned to his friends. "Um, You guys?"

Kit and Artie didn't hear him. "But it's not safe anymore! Look, you try and find a way back to Worcestershire while we rescue Puss." said Kit.

"You _guys_!?!" repeated Donkey, louder now.

"That's not good enough. We all got into this mess and we're all going to get out of it - _together_!" said Artie.

**"You guys!"** yelled Donkey.

Kit and Artie stopped and turned to see Donkey pointing his hoof at a poster on the wall.

Artie read the poster out loud.

"'It's A Happily Ever After, After All.'"

Kit read the bottom line. "'Charming's final performance'?"

The poster showed a picture of Prince Charming, his sword raised in the air, with his foot pinning a horned monster to the ground.

Kit was puzzled. Siv planned to kill Artie and Charming and the play was somehow connected to it... but how could a _play_ have anything to do with it?

"Whoa, Kit! You didn't tell us you were in a... a play!" said Donkey excitedly.

"Well, I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it!" said Kit sarcastically.

"There they are! Get 'em!"

The trio turned to see a large group of Charming's royal guards, armed and ready. Kit, Artie, and Donkey were cornered in the alleyway.

Donkey stepped forward. "Don't worry. I've got an idea that I learned from Puss." he whispered.

He walked up to the oncoming guards. His eyes were large and sweet, giving him a 'little lost puppy/kitten' look. The guards are momentarily hypnotized by his cuteness - until they realized that they're all staring at a donkey.

The guards recoiled.

"Ugh! Kill it!"

They start approaching them.

Donkey immediately retreated, trying to hide behind Kit's legs.

Artie glanced at the theater poster again and then at the guards. Getting an idea, he stepped forward, confronting the guards.

"Look! Don't you know who she thinks she is!?! How dare you!?!" he yelled.

The guards started to look surprised and confused.

Kit quickly picked up on his plan. "Donkey, we're dealing with amateurs." she said.

Artie teared the poster off the wall. "She's a star people! Hellooo!?! I'm so sorry about this Miss. Kit."

"I'm gonna lose it!" yelled Kit, trying to act like a spoiled celebrity.

"I assume you have everything ready for tonight? You _did_ get the list for the dressing room!?!" added Artie.

Donkey marched in. "Yeah. The breakfast croissants stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. Oh, and _please_ tell me you at least have the saffron corn with the jalapeno honey butter. 'Cause our client, cannot get into her proper emotional state, without her jalapeno, honey butter!"

"I just lost it!" yelled Kit.

The guards seemed to be buying it.

"Uh...Maybe they should talk to Nancy in Human Resources." said one of them.

"Oh, we'll have MUCH to say to Nancy. I promise!" yelled Donkey.

Kit, Artie, and Donkey all walked past the guards unscathed.

The guards looked at each other nervously as Kit, Artie, and Donkey made their way towards the Kingdom's castle. The heart of Far Far Away.


	15. The Reveal

**A/N: Sorry this chapter has taken so long. I've been having computer problems.**

* * *

In the courtyard stage beside the castle of Far Far Away, a group of enchanted trees were working on through their dance number. Evil gnomes where painting the set on the stage. Witches were setting up stage props. Everyone was busy doing something.

Hidden in the shadows, Kit, Artie, and Donkey were watching them.

Then they saw Prince Charming, who was reading his lines next to a guy dressed as a horned monster. Waving a sword around and reading from a script, he began to practice.

"'With this sword, I do-' No. 'With...'" He started his line over, "'With this sword, I do smote thee!'... Is that the right word? 'Smote'? 'Smoote?' I don't think that's even a word actually. Maybe I should just use 'smite'. Let's try this again."

Kit silently signaled Artie and Donkey to follow her into Charming's dressing room.

They snuck in, looking in awe at the colossal dressing room, its walls covered with posters and portraits of Prince Charming in different acting roles. An expensive wardrobe stood against a wall beside a large velvet curtain. There was throne-like chair in front of a dressing table and large three-way mirror. A small statuette of Charming's Fairy Godmother stood on the vanity.

"There's Puss!" pointed Kit.

The cat was in a metal pet carrier that was bolted to the floor beside the vanity in a corner of the room. On the tiny padlocked door was a barred window with Puss peeking out of it.

Kit started opening the dressing table drawers, looking for a key. Artie did the same. There wasn't a key in any of the drawers.

Then Artie opened the wardrobe and took out a metal coat-hanger. He bent the curve of the hanger into a straight line and handed it to Kit.

"Will this work?" he asked.

Kit was surprised that she didn't think of making a lock-pick. She smiled at Artie with gratitude and tried to pick the padlock with the straight end of the coat hanger. She started turning the wire, but nothing happened.

As Kit was trying to open the pet carrier, she knocked the statuette of the Fairy Godmother with her elbow. The statuette rocked back a fourth for a few seconds before it fell off the edge. Artie quickly grabbed it and placed it back onto the vanity.

"That was close!" said Artie.

Kit tried again. A 'click' was heard and the padlock opened. Puss jumped out.

"_Gracias Señorita_." he said gratefully.

They suddenly heard footsteps near the door.

"Quick! Hide!" said Kit in a hushed voice.

"Where!" asked Donkey.

"There! Behind the curtain!" she pointed.

Prince Charming stormed in, followed by Siv. Slamming the door, he sat down in his chair in front of the vanity three-way mirror. He looked intently at the small statuette of his mother on the vanity.

"Our happily ever after is nearly complete, mummy. And I assure you, the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second!... we've had to wait."

Siv simply rolled her eyes, but then suddenly looked at the statuette of the Fairy Godmother with great interest.

Just then, Charming turned to face her. "When are the last actors going to arrive!" he asked.

"Oh, They'll be here..." replied Siv, "Why don't you go back outside to finish practicing your lines."

Charming walked back out to do so.

Siv stayed where she was.

"I know your in here." said Siv in a low growling voice.

Kit walked up to face Siv. Artie, Puss, and Donkey stood behind her by the doorway.

"...How did you know that we were here?" asked Kit, not showing any shock.

"The Fairy Godmother always faces due North." said Siv, turning to look at the statuette and then turning it so that it faced the door.

"It's a good thing that you got here," smiled Siv calmly, "I was beginning to think you might not make it back in time." she said.

Kit charged across the room at Siv, graping Siv by the front of her gray shirt and scowling.

"What were you going to do with Puss!" yelled Kit, outraged.

"Don't worry. He was perfectly safe... For now."

Kit strengthened her grip.

Suddenly, a group of guards burst through the doors. They quickly surrounded the room, grabbing Artie, Puss and Donkey.

"Ow! Ow!" they yelled in pain as they struggled. One guard forced Artie's armed behind his back while two more restrained Puss and Donkey. The rest of the guards circled around Kit, pointing their crossbows directly at her.

Siv smiled.

Kit looked around, realizing her defeat. She let go of Siv.

Siv brushed herself off and slowly walked over to Artie. A wicked smile grew across her face.

"Hmm... Let me guess... Arthur?" she said.

Artie looked surprisingly indignant. He raised himself up.

"It's Artie, actually." he said, already starting to hate Siv.

"This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away?"

Laughing, Siv drew her dagger and held it up to Artie's neck.

"How pathetic. Now stand still so I won't make a mess."

She pressed her blade harder on Artie's neck Artie clenched his teeth as a thin cut appeared, with a drop of blood that ran down from it.

Siv was about to kill Artie right then and there... but then she thought of a better idea. If anyone was going to kill this boy, it had to be Kit. And she thought that it would be far more interesting to watch their friendship slowly break apart.

"Guards, you may leave now." ordered Siv.

The guards looked at each other, confused, but obeyed accordingly. Kit, Artie, Donkey, and Puss each raised an eyebrow. What was Siv planning?

That was when she lowered her dagger.

Kit took this opportunity, she thew her leg into Siv's, causing Siv to trip over, and to drop the dagger.

"Run!" yelled Kit,

But then it was Siv's turn to do something bold. Siv grabbed Kit with one hand (which was easy because Kit was the farthest from the exit), forced Kit in front of her, and picked up the stray dagger with the other hand, pressing it against Kit's neck.

"If you want your friend to live, I suggest that you stay put." yelled Siv to Artie.

"Alright." said Artie, standing his ground.

"No Artie! You have to run!" yelled Kit, trying to pull Siv's arm away.

"Don't be stupid! I'm not leaving without you!"

He turned back to Siv. "Am I the only one you're after? My friend, Kit... Are you going to kill her too?"

"Look," sighed Siv, "I know your type. You're the kind of guy who doesn't mind getting the _living daylights_ beaten out of him... But who totally loses his cool when someone he cares about gets hurt. Your a stereotypical hero."

"Answer my question!" yelled Artie, "Are you going to hurt Kit?"

"I'll eliminate anyone who gets in my way... but right now I only have business with you."

"Alright, then, promise me. Promise me you won't touch Kit."

Kit stared at him, her eyes wide.

_Artie..._

"I promise." said Siv.

"What do you mean! Artie, what are you doing! Run!"

"Guards!" yelled Siv.

The guards re-entered. Siv signaled them to restrain Kit, Artie, and the animals as Siv walked over to Artie once again.

The dagger was then poised to his neck.

"Now _stand still _so I won't make a mess." repeated Siv, with more feeling and power than before.

Kit struggled against the guards in vain.

"Get up! Run! Get out of here!" yelled Kit.

Artie didn't budge. He was ready to accept his fate.

_No! Don't do it! Don't kill him!_

Kit knew what would happen: In one solid stroke, one deep incision, Siv would prevent any pain. Artie wouldn't suffer. Out of his neck a gush of blood would spout onto Artie's tunic, onto Kit's feet, onto Siv's hands, and onto the floor. And the blood would keep inching along the floor, until it reached outside, like a tiny scarlet stream.

Kit's mind was working overtime to try and think of something. What could she do? Try to persuade Siv to let him go? Not likely. Well, it was the only thing she could think of at such short notice, so...

"Siv, stop! It doesn't have to be this way." she yelled.

Artie looked confused. "_...'Siv'?_ Kit, how do you know her name?"

Siv smiled. "Don't tell me that you still haven't figured it out yet," she laughed.

Artie was now even more confused, but remained silent.

"Wow," continued Siv, "Kit must be an amazing little actress."

"... What do you mean?" asked Artie.

"Don't Siv!" ordered Kit angrily.

But Siv wasn't the sort of person who took orders from _anybody_. "She's been lying to you the whole time, kid. She didn't care about you. She just wanted to get the reward money."

"What reward?" asked Artie, still as confused as ever.

"Let me ask you something. Do you think, even for one minute, that Kit would even be _interested_ in you without some reason? She met you because we _planned_ it."

"S-Stop it." said Artie angrily.

"Yes. You're getting the picture, aren't you? She was working for _me_ all the time!"

"No!" yelled Artie. He couldn't stand the thought of Kit doing that. Killing. He himself had seen Kit fight before. He had helped her fight the pirates and evil trees in Mr. Merlin's camp. But this was different somehow. This was like being a professional killer. Yes. What had the teachers at the Academy called them - Mercenaries? They hung around The Poison Apple Inn and were hired out by anyone to fight and kill. They were supposed to be the lowest of the low. Kit couldn't be one of them. She couldn't...

Siv was enjoying this. "Heh. You humans are so easy to manipulate. Don't you wonder how Kit knew you were royalty? Or why we have matching uniforms?"

"S... Shut up!" yelled Artie. He tried to sound confident, but his voice was shaky and it was easy to see that there was fear in his eyes, "You're lying! Kit would never do that!"

"Oh yeah? Sorry to break it to you, kid, but _she's_ the one who's been lying to you. Ask her!"

Artie wasn't buying it from Siv, but turned to face Kit anyway to see what she had to say.

"K-Kit?"

Kit looked at her feet, staying silent.

Artie waited for her to say something. Anything! To tell him that what Siv was saying was all just a lie.

But Kit said nothing.

"Got nothing to say, Kit?" smiled Siv, "Well, they say that actions speak louder than words, so..."

Slowly, Siv let go of Kit's arms, securing Kit with the dagger so she wouldn't try anything. Then, with her free arm, Siv grabbed the rim of Kit's black cap. Kit flinched. Siv removed the hat from Kit and tossed it onto the ground.

The black cap softly landed on the wooden floor, throwing up a small cloud of dust.

Artie's heart stopped. He could almost feel his blood run ice cold. A hot flood of memory started to flow into his mind like a shot of adrenalin through his brain. Various moments of his life started to appear in flashes.

* * *

The first memory was from when he was hanging from a torch hanger in the Academy. When one of the other students tried to knock Kit's cap off.

_"NO!" she yelled. From a sheer lightning-quick impulse, Kit grabbed her hat before it left her head, quickly putting it back on. She then hooked her left foot around the boy's right leg and at the same time pushed him back by the shoulders. This caused him to flip over backwards, landing hard on the ground, groaning in pain._

Artie knew that Kit always wore her hat at all times...

* * *

Then Artie saw a moment from right after he won the jousting tournament.

_"My sister will take care of that." As soon as Kit said those words she knew that she made a mistake._

_"You've never mentioned your sister before," said Artie, "What does she do?"_

_Kit searched for the right words for a moment. "... She's in the removal business." smiled Kit._

_He stared up to look at the moon. "I wonder if I'll have the guts to do this again next year."_

_"... I wouldn't worry about next year." said Kit softly._

Kit has a sister, but surely Siv couldn't be her!

* * *

Then came a flashback from the Academy dance:

_Getting used to the dancing, Artie rested his forehead on Kit's. He suddenly felt something hard and sharp under Kit's cap. Artie reasoned that perhaps Kit's hat also had a metal helmet built into it. The kind used for riding._

_How clever. thought Artie._

Artie only just realized that what Kit had under her hat was NOT a helmet built into it.

* * *

Artie's mind had moved on to Merlin's Camp.

_"Kill 'em all. Except... the girl." said Captain Hook, staring hard at Kit, pointing his hooked prosthetic at her. "King Charming has something special in mind for you, demon!"_

* * *

The next vision took place few moments later:

_At the last second, Kit was able to aim the cannon in the opposite direction._

_How could one person do that?_ thought Artie.

* * *

Another, memory appeared, just as quickly as the last one did.

_Merlin, deep in thought, looked at Kit. Suddenly, the penny dropped. "It's her! It's your friend! She's the deathly presence!"_

_Artie scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Oh please, give me a break. Kit's the liveliest person I've ever met."_

If only Artie realised earlier...

* * *

Then the flashbacks stopped. Artie was back in the dressing room.

Her lightning-quick reflexes, her strength, her palish skin, ... her golden eyes. How could he have not thought of it sooner?... For under Kit's black cap were two small white horns that protruded from her head, just beneath the tangles of her short black hair, curving towards the back of her head.

"You're a... a tiefling!" asked Artie.

"That's right!" grinned Siv, raising her gray headband up to show an equally sharp pair of horns, "We're tieflings: Half human... and half demon.

Kit lowered her head in shame.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" he yelled.

"Oh no, me and Kit are the genuine article."

Kit hesitated to say something and then gathered herself with a new strategy: To convince both Siv and Artie that she was on Siv's side, so that Artie would angrily leave the scene without her.

"... I wasn't sent by the King, okay?"

"But you said the King asked for me personally." said Artie.

"Not exactly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Kit became defensive.

"Look, I said whatever I had to say, alright! I didn't take you to Far Far Away so that you could be King! Like Siv said, I just wanted to get rid of you for the reward money! So... so just go!"

Artie was stunned.

"You... ... You were playing me the whole time." he said, his breathing started to sound laboured, as if a serpent was tightly coiling around his stomach.

Kit fought back tears as she punished Artie more.

"You catch on _real_ fast kid... Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought."

Saying that hurt Kit more than any sword ever could.

Donkey was about to interject when Puss covered his mouth, signaling him to stay quiet.

"You know, for a minute there... I actually thought you-"

"What?" asked Kit, pushing him even more, a pain beneath her ribs growing into an ache of regret. Even at the Academy, she had never seen Artie's face so hurt, and so close to tears, "That I _cared_ about you? I'm an demon. What did you expect?"

Artie was about to run out the door, when Siv signaled to the guards. "Escort this miserable troublemaker down to the dungeon and leave him there, as silent as the grave!"

The guards grabbed him, Artie didn't even try to struggle. He just stared at Kit -with a look of betrayal and pain- one last time, as he was lead out.

As soon as Artie was out of sight, Kit was also grabbed by the guards.

"You really do have a way with boys, Kit." said Siv, still looking at the doors that Artie and the guards exited through.

Then she slowly turned her head to look at Kit, who in turn stared at her quizzically. Kit was able to trick Artie, but did she fool her own sister?...

She waited for an answer, and sure enough, was given one.

"You are horrible at lying." said Siv, giving Kit a look of pity.

... Nope. Siv wasn't so easy to fool.

Then Kit spoke. "You planned the whole thing, didn't you? You knew exactly what I'd do, didn't you? That's why you didn't kill him."

"... Yes. You are my little sister, after all. Guessing what your next move would be is no difficult feat. And besides: You still promised to kill him, remember?"

Siv smiled as the guards lead Kit away. And after Kit was gone, Siv turned to Puss and Donkey, her hands on her hips.

"Now what _am_ I going to do with you two?" she asked.

Puss slightly trembled in his boots. Donkey made a loud gulp.

* * *

Kit was led down the hallway and into a dark room underneath the newly built stage. Kit's ankles and wrists were shackled by the guards. She sadly looked out of the cell window.

_Leave me out with the waste,  
This is not what I'd do.  
It's the wrong time,  
It's a chance that I blew.  
It's a small crime,  
And I've got no excuse._

_Is that alright? Yeah._  
_Is that alright with you?  
__Is that aright? ...Yeah.  
__To drop my crossbow when it's loaded.  
If I don't shoot it, then how am I supposed to hold it.  
To drop my crossbow when it's loaded._

_Is that alright?  
Is that alright?  
Is that alright with you?_

_No..._

* * *

After Artie was pushed into his dungeon cell, the guards left. Artie staggered, not finding the strength to stand up properly. He looked out of his barred cell window. It was sunset, and the sky was scarlet red... blood red.

The arc of his back and his thin arms trembled in the sunset. He lay down full length on the cold stone floor, crushing his face into it, no longer crying, silenced by the terrible sense of his insignificance.

* * *

**A/N: Whew! I'm finally done this chapter! I hope that this chapter wasn't too much of a wall-banger for you.**

**Read and review please. It really lifts my spirits when you do.**


	16. Puss and Donkey Time

_"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."_ —Rose Walker

* * *

It was getting late. The sun was starting to set as Siv and several guards escorted Puss and Donkey to Far Far Away's dungeon tower.

A guard opened a cell door, and the two guards threw Puss and Donkey, by the scruff of their necks, into the dungeon room.

"Hey, hey, ow, ow, ow! Woah!" yelled Donkey as Puss spat and hissed.

The two animals collided into a wooden, three-legged stool on the ground, knocking it over. Siv picked it up and placed right-side up again, beside a second stool.

Donkey turned to the guard that threw him. "Hey, and I have your badge number, Tin Can!" he yelled.

Puss hissed angrily again and arched his back, his hairs standing on end.

"Now," said Siv, pointing at the stool, "You are to sit on these chairs, and stay on these chairs. No touching anything, and no more meddling. If you obey me this time, I'll let you out when this kingdom takeover is complete."

Siv then slammed the door and made a motion to the guards which looked like 'had the keys over'. Both guards responded with a shrug.

"Oh, sod it. Where are the keys?" asked Siv, looking around and patting down her empty shirt pockets to make sure that the keys weren't in them, "And what's more, where's the lock?"

"The boy's using the last cell with a lock, all the other cells 'ave doors that need replacing." said one of the guards.

"Should we move the cat and mule to the boy's cell?" asked the second guard.

"I'm a _donkey!_" protested Donkey.

"No. I'd prefer to keep them divided." said Siv, remembering that there was power in numbers. "Just guard the exit of the cell and everything should be all right. Make sure these two don't leave this room until I come and get them." said Siv. She then turned to leave.

"Not to leave the room, even if you come and get them." replied one of the two guards.

Siv stopped. "No, no. _Until_ I come and get them." she corrected.

"Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room."

"No, no. No. You _stay_ in the room and make sure that they just don't leave."

"And you'll come and get them?" asked the other guard.

"Yes."

"We don't need to do anything apart from just stopping them entering the dungeon."

"_Entering _the dungeon, what are you talking about!" asked Siv, thinking that the guards must be crazy, "We're already IN the dungeon! Just stop them from _leaving_ the dungeon."

"Leaving the dungeon. Yes."

"All right?" asked Siv.

"Right."

Then the first guard spoke again. "Oh, if-if, uhh, if-if we, uhh..."

"Yes! What is it!" yelled Siv, impataince getting the better of her.

"Oh, i- if- i- oh... Um..." the guard, forgetting what he was going to say.

"Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here and make sure that they don't leave the room. Alright?"

"Right... Oh, I remember! Uh, can they leave the room with us?"

"No, no, no! What's the matter with you! You just keep them in here and make sure that they-"

"Oh, yes. We'll keep them in here, obviously, but if they had to leave and we were with them-"

"No, no, no, no. Just keep them in here-"

"Until you, or anyone else-"

"No, not anyone else! Just me." yelled Siv.

"Just you-"

"Get back."

"Get back." echoed the guard.

"All right!"

"Right. We'll stay here until you get back."

"And make sure that they don't leave." said Siv.

"What?"

"Make sure that they don't leave!" repeated Siv.

"What? The prisoners?"

"Yes. Make sure that they don't leave."

"Oh, yes, of course. Ah! I thought you meant him." said the guard, pointing to his partner. "You know, it seemed a bit daft, me havin' to guard him, when he's a guard."

There was a long pause.

"... ... ...Okay, so is that clear?" asked Siv.

"Oh, yes. Quite clear. No problems." they nodded.

"Right." said Siv, turning to leave again. The guards began following her out.

Siv had to stop and walk back in again. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"We're coming with you."

"No, no! I want you to _stay_ here, and make sure that they don't leave."

"Oh, I see. Right." said the second guard.

Siv turned around and left.

* * *

Donkey, bored from waiting for what felt like hours to him, knelt down for a rest and looked at the two guards, who were across the other end of the large dungeon cell room. Puss sat down beside his friend, leaning his back against Donkey.

"Why are we stuck guarding these animals? I heard that there's a play tonight." said one of the guards.

Donkey's ears perked up, waiting to hear more. _Anything_to entertain him away from his boredom.

"Yeah, and you know what? It actually sounds like an exciting play. Much better then the usual ones. Charming's going to star in it and actually kill this that girl." replied the other guard.

"Which girl?"

"You know! _That_ girl! The girl who we saw just few minutes ago! She had those scary yellow eyes and those horns."

"Oh! Right! I remember. Now, what was her name, I forget already..."

"Me too, sorry."

"But, wait, you don't mean that Charming's _actually_ going to kill her, do you? I mean, it's only a play, right?"

"No, no, you see. That's what's going to make it so exciting! He really is gonna kill her. I heard the cyclopes say so because the _girl_ is also the next heir to the thrown as well as the boy!"

Now Puss's ears perked up at this. _"Are those guards really as dumb as they look?"_ whispered Puss.

Both animals knew that it had to be a lie, probably made by Siv. Before Kit was a mercenary, she was just a villager from Duloc, and that was years ago. But the question remained: Why would Siv tell Charming that Kit was the next heir to the thrown when it was really Artie? It didn't make any sense. What _did _make sense was that they had to get out of the cell to save Kit, and fast!

The guards continued to chat. "It may sound exciting, but, still... killing a girl for sport? I don't think that that's right."

"Well, she's a demon. It makes sense to kill her before she starts eating everyone. Things like her do that, you know."

_Hogwash,_ thought Donkey. Then he suddenly whipped his head around to look at Puss.

_"Hey, I've got an idea to bust us outta here,"_ whispered Donkey to Puss, _"What if we sing to the guards SO well, they'll let us out."_

Puss stared at him. _"... Are you serious?"_

Donkey nodded.

Puss sighed. _"Alright. We haven't exactly got any other ideas."_

Both animals broke into song, singing 'Living La Viva Loca' by Ricky Martin.

"Aaaaaaaaaaah!" screamed the guards, jumping out of their seats in terror. The two guards ran out of the room so as fast as they could, tripping over two of the candle lights, the only source of light which dimmly lit the room.

"Hey, who turned the lights out?" asked Donkey, "I can't see my hoof in front of my face!"

Meanwhile, the two guards where just outside the room, working up the courage to go back inside. They were sure that there was some sort of beast in the cell. The first guard told his partner guard to go back in to see if the coast was clear.

Quaking with fear, the guard made his way through the room, trying not to trip over anything. Suddenly, without knowing, he stepped on Puss's tail!

Puss hissed and yowled with fury, spitting and scratching at the guard. Trying to force the guard to get his boot off his tail, Puss pulled out his rapier (which both Siv and the guards neglected to confiscate from him) and stabbed the guard with it.

Scared out of his wits, the guard blindly ran to the door. **"CRASH!"** He tripped over Donkey!

"AAAAHHHH!" yelled Donkey, right in the guard's face. Panicking, Donkey sprang up, and gave the guard a hard kick in the leg with his back hoof. The guard limped frantically across the dark dungeon.

As soon as he was back with his partner, he started to rant. "There's a werecat in the dungeon!" he cried. "It spat at me and scratched me with its claws! But by the door was an assassin with a knife. He stabbed me in the leg! Then, this shrieking cockatrice flew down and screamed at me! And then, there was this four-handed troll who beat me with a club! Hurry! We have to get out of here while there's still time!"

As they exited the dungeon, they pasted the guard that was in front of Artie's cell. Actually, the three of them collided into each other, creating a deafening crash of armor hitting armor.

"What's going on?" asked the guard who was guarding Artie's cell.

The two other guards were still panting from running. "There are monsters in this dungeon! We've got to get out of here!"

"What?" said the third guard.

_What?_ thought Artie.

"Come on! We've got to go!" said the first guard, who just started running again.

The second guard grabbed the third guard by the front of his shirt to try and pull him towards the exit, not wanting to spend a moment longer in the damp hallway. Not wanting to argue, guard number three allowed himself to be dragged out by guard number two.

Well, the three guards never went to THAT dungeon again. They started running back towards the city.

Artie leaned his back against one of the walls of his cell.

_Great_, he thought sarcastically, feeling as though he'd hit a floor that was below rock-bottom, _Now I'm stuck in a dungeon that's full of monsters!_

Then Artie looked down. On the floor, just in front of the bars of his cell were a set of three keys that were joined together by a large metal ring. Somehow, from the purest of happenstances, Artie's guard must have dropped the keys when the other two guards crashed into him. Artie crawled over to the front of the barred cell. He reached for the keys, and took them. He stood up and tried the first key on his cell's lock, it didn't fit. He tried the second key, it fit but wouldn't turn inside the lock. Then his griped the last key in him hand.

_This is my last chance..._ thought Artie.

* * *

Puss and Donkey had managed to feel their way out of the dark dungeon tower, run back to Far Far Away, and rescue most of the fairytale creatures. They were now running toward the castle.

Donkey and Puss peeked out from behind a bush, and then turned to face the other fairytale characters.

"'O' to 'K.' The coast is clear." said Puss.

"All right people, let's do this! Go Team Dynamite!" yelled Donkey.

"I thought we agreed we would go by the name of 'Team Super Cool'." said Pinocchio.

"As I recall, it was 'Team Awesome'." said Gingy, the Gingerbread Man.

"I voted for 'Team Alpha Wolf Squadron'." said the Big Bad Wolf, who wasn't looking very big and bad in his pink dress and matching nightcap.

"Alright! Alright! Alright!" said Donkey, "From henceforth, we'll be known as... 'Team Alpha-Super-Awesome-Cool-Dynamite-Wolf-Squadron'."

The three pigs noticed something and pointed.

"Ach du Lieber! There is some strange little girl over there staring at us!"

Donkey and Puss turned to look. Artie was staring at the strange crew.

"Artie!" yelled Donkey.

Artie angrily turned and started walking the other way.

Puss leaped onto Donkey's back to ride him. Then Donkey (carrying Puss) ran in front of Artie to stop him.

"Hey, wait, wait, wait wait. Hey! Where is the fire, _Señor_?" asked Puss.

Artie pushed Puss and Donkey out of the way.

"Oh please, don't act so innocent. You both knew what was going on the whole time, and you kept it to yourself! Even after I was about to give up my life for her!" yelled Artie, hurt.

Artie started to storm away.

"Artie, it's not like it seems." said Donkey.

Artie stopped to turn to them. "It's not? I think it seems pretty clear. She was using me. That's all there is to it."

Again, Artie started to walk off.

"Using you? Man, you really don't get it!" yelled Donkey.

"Kit only said those things to protect you!"

Artie kept walking heading towards the city's docks.

"Siv was going to kill you, Artie!"

This stopped Artie in his tracks.

"Kit saved your life!"

Artie turned around to look at the two animals, still hesitant to believe them.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter had a reference to the 'Swamp Castle Guards' scene from 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', and the fairy tale called 'The Bremen Town Musicans', by Walter de la Mare.**

**Read and review!**


	17. Royal Showdown

_"Unlike most half-fiends, tieflings are not necessarily of evil alignments. Tieflings of all alignments exist, including good, although many take more lowbrow jobs, such as that of thieves, assassins, or spies." _-Wikipedia.

* * *

Artie let them hang for a moment, not giving them a reply. Puss and Donkey waited. Would Artie trust them? Would he help Kit?

Then finally...

"Where's Kit?"

Puss and Donkey breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

Donkey answered. "Charming's got her. And he plans on killing Kit tonight, in front of the whole kingdom!"

Artie let out a breath. He turned to the other fairytale creatures.

"Okay everyone, we need to find a way to rescue Kit, now." said Artie.

"Boom! That's what I like to hear! Look who's _finally_ comin' around!" said Donkey.

"So how do we get in?" asked Artie.

"It's impossible," said Puss, "We're too far away to reach the theatre before the play starts."

"Then we'll have to find a way of saving Kit _during_ the play!" retorted Artie.

Donkey looked at the sky. The sun had set and the moon was stating to rise.

"Come on then!" yelled the Big Bad Wolf, "Let's do it!"

"Yeah!" added the three little pigs.

"Let's spilt up," said Artie, "Puss, Donkey, and I will go look for Kit. The rest of you should go and find more help."

Artie, Puss, and Donkey started running towards the castle, where the play was being held. The others went to look for more recruits.

* * *

Beneath the stage, Kit stood atop a wooden platform, like a beaten man. Kit's arms and legs were in heavy chains attached to the floor. Powerless, and hat-less (her cap was still somewhere in Charming's dressing room). Her horns shone in the moonlight that streamed into the room through a barred window.

"You should keep that look, Kit," said Siv as she walked in, "It suits you."

Kit simply gritted her teeth, trying to ignore Siv.

Siv continued. "The guards seem to have lost the Pendragon twerp. But we'll find him again soon enough."

That got Kit's attention. She looked up. _Artie's missing? I hope he found a way to get back to Worcestershire._

Seeing that she had Kit's undivided attention, Siv walked closer to Kit to give her the last piece of information. "Oh, and I kind-of told Prince Charming that you're a second heir to the throne." she said casually, as if she was explaining a simple list of chores to Kit.

"What! Why would you do that!" yelled Kit, "You know I'm not!"

Siv grinned, "Charming will try to kill you on stage because of this. Naturally, you'll be forced to defend yourself, which will kill _him _in the process. Then, I'll tract down Arthur Pendragon, and you'll _finally_ rip his throat out in front of me! That way, we can take over Far Far Away without any threats. We alone would rule the kingdom!"

Kit realized that Siv's ambitions were starting to get the best of her.

"You've created quite a mess, Kit. Because of you, the _real _heir to the throne is somewhere running around loose and very much alive. He could end our only chances of power. He could take it from us and use it to drive us out. Not only out of Far Far Away, but also out of the Poison Apple. We could lose everything we know. Is that what you want? Is it!"

"N-No, but... Artie would never do that..." said Kit, with a sense of vulnerability in her voice.

"They're humans, Kit." said Siv, removing all the playfulness in her voice, "You saw how that boy acted when he saw you for what you were!"

"Artie was... just... a little surprised..."

Siv put a hand on Kit's shoulder. "They're humans," she repeated, "Wherever you go, humans will either fear or despise you. Just assassinate him, alright?"

"Siv... it's no longer 'assassination'... it's _murder_. I know Artie too well now. I... I want to be with Artie."

"And I want to be a world-famous chef, but it's not going to happen." replied Siv, opening one of the prop trunks that was leaning against a wall opposite Kit. Siv rummaged through it for a moment, and then took out a black knight's helmet that had two massive ram's horns on each side of it.

"Here." said Siv, who walked back over to Kit a placed the helmet on her.

"Hey! What are you doing! I can barely see under this thing!" said Kit, who sounded muffled in the helmet.

"This is your _costume_. I'm guessing that you saw one of the play's posters, right? Remember that there was a picture of Charming attacking a horned monster on it? A demon? Well, you get to star in that role. That will get you close enough to kill Charming."

"Lucky me..." mumbled Kit.

Siv ignored Kit's comment. "A witch will pull a lever that's on the side of the stage, which will unlock your chains. Don't worry, Kit. I'll be easy to kill Charming. The guy's probably never held a sword in his life."

"But I don't want to kill ANYONE!" yelled Kit.

Siv, still ignoring Kit, walked out.

* * *

"So, it wasn't all a lie? Kit... cared enough about me to not wanna kill me?" asked Artie as he, Puss, and Donkey ran across the front bridge to the castle.

"What are you askin' me for?" replied Donkey, "Why don't you go ask her?"

"I just hope I get that chance!" said Artie, turning the statement into a shout because the of a gust of wind they were running against in the cool night air.

"Here we are!" yelled Donkey, stopping and pointing his hoof at the castle's courtyard.

The play had already started. On the courtyard stage, Captain Hook and his pirates were in the orchestra pit playing the music score. Several intimidating black knights were handing out playbills and were ushering people in their seats. The lights had been dimmed. The curtains, which were really pieces of wood painted as clouds, had long since opened, showing a large tower and the background painting of a forest. A spotlight was focused on Rapunzel, singing in a tower, while Prince Charming and the fairy-tale villains played their roles below, also having their own spotlights. The play was already in motion.

Artie, Puss, and Donkey looked at each other in confusion. What _was _this play supposed to be about? Instead of just walking to the audience seats like all of the other citizens were, the three of them snuck around to the back of the stage.

"Hey, look." whispered Artie, pointing to the tower that was on the stage. They were standing behind it, where no one else could spot them, and they could see that the back of the tower concealed a ladder.

"I'll go up and find out where Kit is. You two need to go and find the others and tell them to come right now." said Artie.

"Right-o!" said Donkey. The two animals ran back out.

Artie climbed up the ladder, which led him to the top of the ladder where he had a good view of everything around him. Artie peered down at the stage, he could see Charming below him, and Siv sitting in the front of the audience, but there was no sign of a teenage girl.

_Come on, Kit, where are you?_ he thought to himself.

Suddenly, there was a big flash of red flares going off. A loud growling was piped through the sound system as a trap door opened in the stage floor. Steam and poured out of the trap door and a large, imposing shadow grew onstage. The silhouette faded, revealing a shackled Kit on stage, her face completely covered by the horned helmet that was obviously too big for her. Artie recognized Kit immediately from her gray tunic, and leather boots. Kit pulled at her chains as she noted the audience and viewed the spectacle before her through the badly-placed eye slits on her helmet.

Charming, holding a longsword, ran up to Kit and began to sing. "Who is this terribly ugly fiend, who so rudely intervened?"

Artie did **not** look happy when Charming said that.

Rapunzel and several villains danced in from the sides of the stage. "Will Charming fight? Or will he flee?"

"Oh please, rescue me!"

"From this monstrosity!"

Prince Charming took a dramatic pause and then sang in the ultra-high voice of a castrato. "Fear thee not Honey Lamb! I will slice this thing up like a HAM!"

"Oh boy..." sighed Kit, which came out muffled from the inside of her helmet.

Prince Charming relished the moment, holding up his sword and aiming it at Kit's chest.

"You are about to enter a world of pain with which you are not-" Charming's voice climbed even higher, _"FamiliaAAAAAAR!"_

He held the last, highest note. Kit winced. Glass cups, eye glasses, and jewelery all began to crack and break in the audience.

Prince Charming smiled proudly. Kit looked at him with contempt.

"Well it can't be anymore painful than the _lousy_ performance you're giving." she said, still sounding a bit muffled.

The audience began to laugh at Kit's remark. Prince Charming was thrown off by their reaction.

From a trap door underneath the stage, Rumpelstiltskin tried to help Prince Charming out by whispering to him his next line.

_"Prepare foul demon."_

Charming cleared his throat and tried to get back into character.

"Prepare, foul demon, your time is done!" he sang.

"Oooh, if you don't mind, could you kill me, and _then_ sing?" asked Kit.

The audience laughed louder.

"Be quiet!" yelled Charming.

"Oh, come on, I'm just havin' fun with ya." said Kit, "That's actually a very nice leotard."

"Oh, thank you."

"Do they come in men's sizes?"

The audience laughed again. Even some of the villains chuckled among themselves.

Kit smiled, enjoying how she was screwing up the play.

"ENOUGH!" yelled Charming at the top of his lungs.

The crowd fell silent.

Prince Charming turned back to Kit.

"I should have been King from the start. But then I had everything I worked for, **everything** that was precious to me just taken away!"

As Charming was doing his monologue, Kit saw a witch pull a lever at the side of the stage- but it was jammed! Kit tried to pull at her chains again but they were still locked.

Kit looked back at Charming, wide-eyed. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't defend herself.

Kit began to speak. "Uh, no, no! I'm not any-" she was going to explain that she was not a member of any royal family, but Charming ignored her and continued his speech.

"And now you'll know how I felt! I'm not letting some kids take the kingdom from me."

Prince Charming raised his sword above his head.

Artie stood up, getting ready to stop Charming, when suddenly, a fireball hit Charming's blade, just before he was about to hit Kit. The sword glowed bright red from the intense heat, and then broke in half. Charming yelled in anger.

Another huge fireball was lit across the sky as a bright red dragon flew above the theater.

The three pigs came running down the courtyard's aisle and lept onto the stage, going into a drop and roll move to land in between Kit and Prince Charming. They each striked a fighting pose. Pinocchio came flying in on his strings, landing with a flurry of kung-fu moves. The Big Bad Wolf took the head off his wolf disguise, and joined the others.

Prince Charming looked around. He was completely surrounded.

A shadow fell over the crowd and the audience gasped. The dragon flew in and landed on the stage with and earth-shaking thud.

Puss and Donkey lept off her back and landed onto the stage.

"Pray for mercy from... Puss! And Donkey!" they yelled together.

Then Gingy and several princesses entered the stage. Each of them striking a pose equally as fearsome as the next.

The audience applauded.

Kit, not being able to see what was going on clearly, lifted up her helmet so that its rim rested above her real horns.

The audience gasped. Kit cringed. People weren't used to seeing tieflings.

Kit tried to shrug it off. "So, Charming," said Kit, turning back to face Charming. She raised up her shackled wrists "You wanna let me out of these so we can settle this, tiefling to man?"

Prince Charming mockingly considered this for a second. "Oooh, that sounds fun! But I have a better idea!"

Prince Charming striked an overconfident pose and clapped his hands. All of the pirates in the orchestra pit threw down their instruments and jumped onto the stage. A cyclopes suddenly emerged from the trap door, grabbing Puss and Donkey. The witches flew in on their brooms and surrounded the princesses. The evil dwarves grabbed the three little pigs. Gingy was suddenly circled by several black knights armed with spears and halberds. Dragon started to move forward only to find herself surrounded by turncoat guards with crossbows. Kit struggled to free herself of the chains, but it was no use. She was still stuck.

"You will not ruin things this time, demon." said Charming, angrily taking another sword from a black knight. Then he turned to the other villains, "Kill it!" he yelled, signaling to the villains to attack Kit. The villains started to advance toward her.

Artie looked at the scene before him.

_I have to do something,_ he thought, _But what?_

Then Artie noticed the spotlight device that was beside him. He quickly grabbed it and shined the spotlight at the villain's eyes, stopping them in their tracks.

"Everybody stop!" he yelled.

"Oh, what is it now?" yelled Charming, exasperated.

Kit squinted at the spotlight. She'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Artie?"

Artie jumped from the spotlight tower, landing clumsily on a hanging cloud. He began to leap awkwardly from cloud to cloud. The audience stared in awe.

After one last leap, he swung down on the Cherub's cable, landing on the stage in between the villains and Kit.

"Who really thinks we need to settle things _this_ way?" he asked.

All of the villains quickly raised their hands.

"You're telling me you just want to be villains your whole lives!"

This gave the villains pause.

"But we _are_ villains! It's the only thing we know." said Captain Hook.

"Didn't you ever wish you could be something else?" asked Artie.

"Well, it's easy for _you_ to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree." said one of the evil trees.

"Oh, you morons! Don't listen to him! Attack them!" yelled Charming, pointing his sword between Kit and Artie.

One of the evil trees grabbed Prince Charming, and covered his mouth. A second tree forced Charming to drop his sword.

"What Steve's tryin' to say 'ere is that it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you."

"Right, thanks Ed."

"Okay... fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree." said Artie, "But, you know, a good friend of mine, once told me... that just because people treat you like a villain, or a _demon_..."

Artie shared a look with Kit.

"... Or just some loser..."

Kit smiled. The villains listened intently.

"...It doesn't mean you _are_ one,"

The tree tightened his grip as Charming struggled to break free from his constriction.

"...The thing that matters most... is what you think of yourself,"

Artie started walking around the stage, addressing both the villains and the audience.

"If there's something you really want, or someone you really want to be... then the only person standing in your way ...is you."

Artie pointed directly at Rumplestiltskin.

"Me?" asked Rumplestiltskin, alarmed.

"Get 'im lads!" yelled a pirate.

The pirates began to angrily yell and crowd around the small man.

"No, no, no!" yelled Artie, "What I mean is... each of you, is standing in your own way."

"Oooooooh!" they realized, letting go of Rumplestiltskin.

The headless horseman stepped forward. "I've always wanted to play the flute." he sniffed, feeling chocked up.

The fairy-tale villains and creatures began to look at each other.

The evil Queen spoke up. "I'd like to open up a spa... in France!"

The villains nodded in agreement.

Then Hook stepped forward to speak. "I grow daffodils." There was a complete silence as everyone stared at Hook, "And... they're beautiful!"

Captain Hook looked thoughtfully at his sword, then threw it down. The pirates began to also throw their weapons down, followed by the witches and black knights. The weapons piled up on different parts of the stage. Everyone else cheered and started to mingle, introducing themselves, hugging, and shaking hands. Gingy high fived with a black knight. Several black knights pulled the stage's lever, unjamming it. All the hostages, including Kit, were freed.

The evil tree took the crown off of Charming's head and handed in to Artie, who looked at it in awe. Kit walked up to him.

"It's yours if you want it, you know... but this time it's your choice."

Artie considered it. He turned to the audience and held out the crown to them. They all cheered him. Artie placed the crown on his head. The crowd went crazy. In the audience, people stood up and started cheering, clapping, and sobbing with joy. The fairy-tale creatures and villains on the stage joined in.

"Ar-tie! Ar-tie! Ar-tie! Ar-tie!" they cheered.

Suddenly, Prince Charming managed to pull himself free of the evil tree and charged them. He grabbed two swords from the discard pile and raised them up, his aim set on the two individuals in front of him. Charming yelled at the top of his lungs, lunging for Kit and Artie with the swords. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Kit and Artie turned to look at Charming. The two of them tried to back away, but the stage's set was in the way.

Despite their fear, both Kit and Artie faced Charming bravely, getting ready for the blade's impact. Furious, Charming charged at Kit and Artie, stabbing both of them with the sword. Charming let go of the swords and both Kit and Artie stumbled onto their knees, with the weapons impaled in them.

The audience gasped and looked fearful at them.

Charming beamed and laughed. He turned to the audience.

"A new era... finally begins!"

_Is this what dying feels like! _thought Artie. He felt like he failed at everything: At failing to become King, failing to defend himself properly, failing to plan ahead properly, and, most of all, failing protect his friends.

_Wait a minute, _he thought, reaching his hand to lightly wiggle the sword. It appeared that Charming's attack had actually missed Artie, and the sword was lodged harmlessly under him arm, _But wait, what about K-_

Artie whipped his head around to look at Kit. She looked lifeless. But then she slowly turned her head towards Artie, smiled, and winked.

Artie let out a sigh of relief.

"Now, all of you, bow before your king!" yelled Charming.

Artie casually rose up behind Charming and cleared his throat. "Ah-hem." Charming turned around, shocked. Artie lifted his arm and pulled out the sword, revealing that he wasn't really stabbed. "You need to work on your aim."

Charming was stunned. Artie grabbed Charming by the shirt-front with his sword-free hand. He winced, but was still defiant.

"This was supposed to be _my _happily ever after!"

"Well, I guess you'll have to keep looking..." said Artie. He looked over at Kit, who was still kneeling down, and smiled. "... 'Cause I'm not giving up mine."

Artie signaled to the evil trees, who grabbed Charming tightly.

Siv's eyes narrowed in the audience. She looked at the scene in front of her: Arthur and Charming were still alive, while her younger sister was kneeling down, dying with a sword sticking through her. She didn't see that Kit was uninjured. "No!" roared Siv, almost spitting with fury as she stood up and charged she grabbed a longsword from the pile and charged at Prince Charming.

_You'll pay for hurting Kit, Charming!_thought Siv.

Kit jerked her head up to see what was going on, but her horned helmet slipped over her face again, blinding her vision. Without lifting it back up, she looked at Siv, who was charging onto the stage.

_Oh, no! _thought Kit,_ She's gonna try and kill Artie!_

In a flash, she stood up and ran over to stop Siv. But her helmet made her practically blind. She kept running anyway.

"Siv! Wait!" she yelled, "It's all ri-"

It was too late. There was an unforgettable sound of steel hitting cloth, and then flesh. Kit literally ran into Siv's sword. There was no doubt that the sword had just missed Kit again. The end of the weapon poked out of Kit's back, bloodstained. The blood creeped up and around the sword, soaking Kit's charcoal grey shirt. Kit was right in front of Siv, her arms outstretched, as if she was in the middle of embracing Siv in a sibling hug. Kit stumbled and fell down backwards onto the stage floor.

_Oh God... what have I done? _thought Siv, looking down at her hands in horror, the hands that, seconds ago, were wielding a sword.

"KIT!" yelled Artie, who ran over and kneeled over Kit. He took off Kit's helmet and threw it next to a pile of weapons.

"Stay away from my sister!" yelled Siv, kicking Artie in the stomach.

Artie painfully slid across the stage, but simply ran back over to Kit.

"She needs support!" yelled Artie to Siv as he kneeled down, lifted Kit up by her shoulders, and resting her back against his chest so that she could sit upright, "Or else the sword's just going to get in deeper!"

"This... this wasn't my fault!" yelled Siv angrily, turning to the audience, "It's Charming's fault for trying to kill her!" she shouted, pointing at Prince Charming who was still being held by the trees. Then Siv pointed at the fairytale villains, "It's _your_ fault for constantly switching sides, you turncoats! You started out angry at Charming at the Poison Apple Inn. Five seconds later, your _cheering_ him! Fifteen seconds of Arthur later, and then you're on _his _side!" The villains were suddenly taken aback. Siv then pointed at Artie, "And you! If it wasn't for you, none of this would have happened! You just _had_ to befriend Kit, didn't you! You couldn't just hate her like the rest of those students at the Academy!"

Artie wanted to say otherwise. He wanted to tell her that it was her fault for impaling Kit. But he couldn't help but feel like it was partly true. Out of all the other students in the Academy, Kit was the only one whom he was able to befriend.

Siv looked around and spotted her next weapon of choice: A battle axe with two blades. She picked it up from the pile. She slowly walked over to Artie and raised the axe over her shoulder, getting ready to decapitate Artie.

"N-No.. no..." whispered Kit, reaching a hand towards Siv in a weak, half-hearted attempt to protect her friend. Her words didn't come out very well. Kit was starting to gurle and choke on her own blood as it slowly began to trickle out of her mouth.

Siv ignored Kit's plea, "You'll never love Kit more than I love her!" said Siv, "I offer her gold! I offer her power! I offer her _survival!_ You... you don't offer her anything! What have _you_ offered her, huh! I've been watching you for a long time now, and all you seem to give her is pain!"

Artie, still kneeling down with Kit, looked around for someone in the audience who could help Kit. A doctor maybe. But he couldn't identify one in the crowd. Artie was just about to ask the audience if there was a doctor nearby, when another voice spoke up.

"It's about forty paces to the end of the stage, you know." said Charming abruptly. He was addressing Artie, "The girl's become a burden to you. If you leave her behind and run, you might stand a chance of escaping. Why don't you?"

"A... _burden_?" asked Artie in a whisper. He said this with such an unusual tone of rage that it made both Charming and Siv freeze-up. Artie had let his front locks of hair hang in front of his face as he kneeled over Kit, making him look slightly deranged. "Let me ask _you_ something then: If you were in my place, could you bring yourself to leave a dying friend?"

Siv's axe was still held up over her shoulder, but she didn't swing it. Instead, she slightly lowered it. She wanted to know what the teenager had to say.

Artie continued. "A king exists for his people. A tyrant only helps himself. Without his people, there can't be a king!"

Siv began to burst out laughing. At the sheer absurdity of the situation. She only half-believed what was going on. She didn't _want_to believe it all: Her little sister dying, the villains siding with Arthur, her plan falling apart at the seams. It couldn't be real.

"You said something about a 'true king', right?" she asked, "You are, truly, the most naïve person that I've ever met! You've got such immature and idealized theories about life! Nowhere on this earth does a 'true king' exist! Everyone's out to help themselves! _You_ want something, _I_ want something. And neither of us are going to stop until we get it!"

With that, Siv swung up her axe with such force that she accidentally severed a rope that was tied down to the stage behind her. There was an odd creaking sound, followed by a large shadow looming over Siv. Wanting to know what had happened, she turned to see that the stage's tower was falling towards her. The rope that she'd cut was one of the supporting lines that held it up. She was just about to try and jump out of the way, when the evil trees let go of Charming and pushed him into Siv, knocking them both off of their feet, still directly in line with where the tower was about to fall.

"Mummy?" whimpered Charming beside Siv, both of them looking up at the approaching tower.

There was a tremendous crash at the tower's impact, a thick cloud of dust surrounded flew up around the stage, causing Artie and some of the fairytale villains and creatures to start cough.

As the dust cleared, they saw Siv's hand sticking out from under the tower. Lifeless.

Artie ran back to Kit.

Kit tried to rise, but her arms stayed still at her sides. There was a weight on them that she could not lift. Artie looked down at Kit. Her eyes uncontrollably rolled upwards to look above Artie's head and look high up into the night sky. Kit could see a pale cold moon shining fully above her. But the light of the moon slowly seemed to be growing dim, as if a brighter light shone from behind it and the moon was just its shadow. Kit looked back down. With her blurring vision, she could no longer see across the stage to where Puss, Donkey, and the audience had been. She was even losing sight of Artie, who was still right in front of her.

The world was growing small, dying slowly in the growing darkness of the moonlight.

Kit's eyes glazed over, losing their golden sheen and looking as gray and colorless as her bloodstained tunic used to be. Her eyelids closed.

And then the world went silent.

Puss checked Kit's wrist for a pulse, then shook his head sadly.

"She's gone, Artie. Kit's gone." His words came out flat. Hollow.

"Kit.. No Kit!... No!" wailed Artie, squeezing one of Kit's hands tightly as if clutching it would do something to help her. Tears started to stream down from his face.

Artie couldn't understand it. After all they'd been through together, after all they'd done to get this far...

Kit... was dead?

* * *

**A/N: ****Read and review.**


	18. Fallen Moon, Rising Sun

Kit's body was carried into the infirmary. Many court physicians tried to stop the bleeding, and stitch up the wound, but even when they archived this, they knew it would not be enough to save her. Other doctors went to their archives and personal libraries to see if a tiefling's anatomy was any different from a human's. Different enough, perhaps, for Kit to be able to survive such a stab. Unfortunately, information on tiefling (much like their race itself) was rare, and the information that they _did_ have only proved that Kit was just as fragile as an ordinary human being. Besides, no information or studying would take them anywhere. The thing was, she was dead.

And soon, the doctors were replaced by men dressed in black, carrying measuring tapes to size up Kit for a coffin.

The morning after, Artie felt like he had a great stone in his chest. He refused speak to Puss and Donkey, in fact, he refused to talk to anyone unless they brought news that Kit was going to be okay. He didn't want to be given sympathy and be told that after time, he would get used to not having Kit around, and that his emotional wounds would heal over time. He didn't want to get over the loss of Kit. They were _so_ close, and then their happily ever after was pulled out of their reach in the very last moment. Artie was in love, and... his heart knocked against his bony chest at this thought... Kit loved him too.

As Artie sat on the edge of his new four-poster bed, looking down at his feet with his head held in his hands, there was a knock on the door. A man, dressed in the standard red and gold royal messenger's uniform, stepped in.

"Your Aunt Lillian, the Dowager Queen, would like to see you now." he said, addressing Artie.

There was a frightening silence for a moment as Artie thought for a moment. Should he go see her and risk having to get another sympathy speech from someone, or should he refuse to speak to her and risk upsetting the Dowager Queen?

"... Alright. I'm coming." said Artie quietly.

* * *

Artie closed the door behind him as he entered the sitting room. He looked around. The room was adorned with paintings of landscapes, and a seat with purple velvet and gold lining. The heavy wooden chairs were laden with cushions in vibrant colours: golds and purples and deep blues. The stained glass windows above his head. The sun, streaming through them, cast rays of yellow and green and blue and lilac across the floor in such a delightful way. The whole scene seemed to go against Artie's mood. He wanted to get away from it, but he took his last ounces of courage and pressed onwards. Dowager Queen Lillian was reading a book. Glancing up, she put it down next to her at the sight of Artie.

"Please, sit down." she said, gesturing to a seat next to hers.

Artie obeyed.

"I'm guessing this is about the funeral arrangements?" asked Artie.

"In a sense," replied Lillian. After registering Artie's confused look, she continued, "Now you know that as a ruler, you'll have many responsibilities. And as such, you'll need someone to share those responsibilities."

"Yeah?" said Artie.

"Well, ever since Charming's takeover, the kingdom's well-being has been hanging in a delicate balance. If it wasn't for you and your allies, it would have been destoryed altogether. But right now, the people of this kingdom need to know that their new king will rule with a kind heart, through love. Artie: You need to get married."

Artie blinked at the Dowager Queen's suddenness.

"What? But why? I can rule without getting married!" he protested.

"No you can't," said Lillian, "I'm sorry, Artie. But in order to secure your coronation, you need to be married. And time is not on our side. Who knows what other forces might try to take over while Far Far Away is still recovering for Chariming's rule. It's tradition that the king is married."

Artie suddenly stood up. "No! I will not do it! It would be disloyal to Kit. I've finally fully realized that I love her and it would be disloyal of me to marry anyone other than her. Even if she's gone, I'll always love her."

It was hard for Artie to be stern. He didn't like to be stern. It did not come naturally to him. But he was overtaken by a profound anger, roused by this new information.

"But you aren't officially the king until your marriage!" said Lillian.

"Then I'm going to renounce the thrown!" yelled Artie.

Queen Lillian shook her head sadly, "If you do that, then your friend's sacrifice would have been in vain."

Artie looked down at his feet, he knew she was right.

"I understand," said Lillian, placing her hand on Artie's shoulder. "How it feels to lose someone you love. I understand that feeling all too well. But we brave onward. We stay strong because we know that if we don't, many other people and _their_ loved ones will be in danger too."

There was a long silence as Lillian waited for her nephew's answer.

Artie sat back down. "... Alright," sighed Artie, "I'll marry... There's a girl named Guinevere in Worcestershire Academy."

Artie didn't care who he married if it wasn't Kit. He just wanted to have a funeral for Kit. And he remembered that it would have taken a day and a night to get from the Academy to Far Far Away. Which meant that for a ship to get form the Castle, to the Academy and back again would take at least two days: Enough time to give Kit a proper burial.

Lillian nodded, feeling empathy for Artie's grief, "I'll send the Seadragon. It's our fastest ship, and will get her here by tomorrow morning."

"_Great..._" frowned Artie.

He could hardly bear it. He didn't want to be included in their plans for a wedding. He wanted funeral for Kit - Not a celebration. But Kit seemed to have been forgotten, unmourned and left behind. Artie felt his heart go heavy and ache inside him unbearably.

* * *

Leaving the sitting room, Artie entered the infirmary.

Kit was on a table there, with various surgeon tools surrounding her. They had not all been reclaimed by physicians. The room she was in was silent and empty. Even when Artie walked in there was only himself, Kit, and the hollow sound of his footsteps.

Artie looked at Kit. She had a linen cloth covering her face to prevent decay. The hole in her tunic caused by the impalement was stitched back together by a doctor, and most of the dried up blood was cleaned off as carefully as possible.

Artie carefully removed the linen. He looked at Kit's closed eyes, but was mildly surprised by her crooked smirk. It was an expression of pain, yet happiness. Kit died for what she believed in. She still had some colour, but it seemed to be slowly leaving her. Artie replaced the cloth back on her. He wanted to apologize. To find a way to fix everything. To tell Kit all his pent-up emotions. But he didn't know how to.

Instead, he took Kit's hand and held it in his own. And waited silently for a miracle.

* * *

"Where is the young King?" asked a servant, who was busy preparing Artie's new bedroom, "It's nearly midnight!"

"Here he is," said a guard, carrying a sleeping Artie over his shoulder, "I found him asleep in the infermery. The poor lad must have stayed there all day."

The guard set Artie down into the bed and tucked him in.

"He needs rest," said the servant, looking thoughtfully at the boy, "Tomorrow, he'll be married."

* * *

**A/N: Well, chapter 19 is finally up. Sorry, for the really, really long delay (wow, from April 22 2010 to December 2011. That's over a year!). I promised that I'd finish this chapter by Christmas (2010), and then changed the promise to the end of Summer (2010). Now I promise that the last chapters will be posted a lot faster than this one was. Again, I'm really sorry about this. Well, maybe the amount of writing and backstory in the next chapter will make up for it. Maybe. I hope you like it. :)**

**And please send me a review! You can tell me what you found funny, sad, or maybe what your favorite scene was.**


	19. A Difficult Explanation

Kit was lying in darkness. She wasn't scared, she felt strangely calm. She began to feel the remarkable sensation of lying in ignorant bliss, waiting for someone to come and take her somewhere. Then, in that moment that seemed to be frozen in time, she heard a voice.

"You fool..."

She recognized the voice immediately.

_There's Siv, come to take me to the afterlife,_ thought Kit.

Kit opened her eyes. She turned to look at the dimly-lit vision of Siv.

"Sis? Am I dead, or what?" said Kit. Her first word sounded exhausted, yet full of life: As if she'd been underwater for some time and had only just come up for air.

Kit could make out Siv rolling her eyes. " 'Is she dead, or what'?" Siv echoed.

"Well, I don't know, do I?" shrugged Kit, "I thought that I must have been dead at some stage for me to end up here. Someone must have said... 'She's dead'."

"Well, what do _they_ know?"

"So I'm alive then?" asked Kit, sitting up. There was hope in her voice.

Siv looked at her younger sister with pity. "Didn't the thought ever occur to you when they 'filed' you away in here?"

"I didn't know _what_ to think! So I thought that the best thing to do was to lie doggo... and see what happens. And then I heard you and thought, 'There's Siv, come to take me.' "

Siv shook her head, annoyed. "You aren't dead. You were just... Well... Let's just say that it's a perk that comes with being a tiefling."

Kit raised an eyebrow. "I'm not aware of all the facts, am I? Have you been keeping rather important-sounding 'perk' from me?"

"No! I just... I only just became aware of this 'perk'," said Siv, sitting down on the table beside Kit. "And to explain it to you, I'm gonna have to explain it as a story."

"Go on." urged Kit.

So Siv began to share her story.

* * *

"After 20 years of war, a soldier took leave and travelled to down a road to return to his home town. War was what he'd known for most of his life. He had no home nor family to go back to. He only had with him three biscuits and his knapsack. On his way, he met three beggars to whom he gives the three biscuits, and in return for his kindness, they gave him a beautiful whistle, a pack of magic playing cards that allowed him to always win at a card game, and musty sack that had to power to trap anything ordered into it.-"

"I've heard this story before!" said Kit.

"Just listen!" said Siv, "I have to give you all the pieces before you can make a whole."

Siv continued, "Upon arriving at him hometown, he discovered that during his time in war, an abandoned castle nearby has become overrun with thieves. He went straight to the castle, played them in a game of cards, won 40 barrels of gold, and when they tried to kill him, he captured them in his magic sack, only letting them go when they promised to never return. The soldier quickly became rich and famous because he removed the thieves from the King's palace, as well as winning the 40 barrels of gold. He lived a charmed life.

"Now this is where most people end the tale, but there's actually more." said Siv, "The soldier's luck ran short when he became deathly ill. Lying in his death bed he saw Death himself. And do you know what he did?"

"He screamed and told the doctor that he was seeing things?" shrugged Kit.

Siv glared at her. "He ordered Death into his sack, and stopped death from happening everywhere. The world rejoiced! 'We're free of the worries of Death!' the townsfolk cried. All was happy... For a time anyway...

"But as time went on, people everywhere were waiting for a death that would not come. The old waited in vain. Star-crossed lovers would throw themselves off cliffs... Only to have a long way back up to climb.

"A young man, -not the soldier, but a tiefling!- began to see the problems of a world without death. The very balance of nature itself has gone and there was suffering all around him. Every day, the tiefling lad would see people suffering, until he could bear it no longer.

"Fortunately, the tiefling lad was skilled in the art of thievery."

"Naturally." added Kit with a grin.

"Yes, naturally," replied Siv, "So he sneaks into the soldier's well-guarded palace, into his treasury, finds the magic sack, and frees Death. The Grim Reaper thanked the tiefling, and rewarded him well for the risks the lad took to free him: From then on, every tiefling who ever preformed the noble act of risking their own neck to save another's, despite the hardship that every tiefling is cursed with from birth, that usually makes them villainous and selfish to the core, would be given an extra chance in life. Then Death went off to save the people from suffering."

* * *

"So, you're saying," said Kit, "That because I saved Artie form Prince Charming, I've been given a second chance at living?"

"You've got it."

"I understand... Yet I don't understand. What happened to me after I was stabbed?"

"I suppose," said Siv thoughtfully, "That you were dead for a time. Or somewhere _between_ life and death. And then you woke up when Death refused to take you."

"Why didn't I know about this?"

"It's a well-kept secret. Makes sense to keep it a secret, isn't it? If every tiefling knew that they could survive death for an extended time, they'd go around performing heroic sacrifices just for the sake of getting and extra life."

"Wait a minute." said Kit, "Then how do _you_ even know all of this? You say you only just found out that version of the story?"

"Yes."

"Who told it to you?"

Siv simply answered Kit's question with a question. "Who told you the shortened version you knew before?"

Kit thought for a moment. "Mother..."

"Then you have the answer right there."

"You saw her? But she-"

"I _think_ I saw her... As I lay between life and death. It was as if I saw her in a dream as she explained to me what had happened after our 'death'."

Kit was still for a moment. Then she quickly switched back to her fast-paced, excitable self. "But what about Artie! And Puss! And Donkey! _They_ must still think I'm dead!"

"Well, obviously."

"... You couldn't nip up to the castle and tell them I'm all right, could you?"

"Assassins taking messages about people living! That's like Death taking messages about Life! Tell them yourself!" snapped Siv.

"But how am I supposed to explain it to them all?" moaned Kit.

"Well, you'll just have to be one of those 'miraculous cases', won't you? Tell them that 'you came to in the morgue'."

It seemed that even Siv was not above making a joke.

Then Siv got up. "So," she said, preparing to leave. "The fate of the kingdom is still hanging in a delicate balance and your friend, who thinks you're dead, is probably feeling miserable without you. What do you plan on doing about it?"

"I guess I'm... What? You think I'm gonna tell you so you can stop me?" snapped Kit.

Siv hesitated before answering. "I'm not going to stop you, Kit."

"Why should I believe that?"

There was a long pause before Siv answered. "Stand up." she finally said.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Kit got up. There was an odd, numb pain, in her stomach.

Then Siv said, "Now try walking a few. and after a few steps forward, felt a sharp pain in her stomach, and fell into Siv's arms.

"Heh. The Reaper only heals you just enough to keep you alive and functioning. You still have a broken rib on your right side, and you'll probably have trouble walking for the rest of your life." then she turned away from Kit, "I've got my own health problems now too, so I won't be able to show my face in the Poison Apple for _long_ time. I wont be going on any more missions, so I can't get the gold to afford a room there either." then she turned back to look at Kit, "You know, if you feel like you're in over your head, we can always just run away to another kingdom and start all over."

"You know I couldn't just leave everyone thinking that I'm dead."

"Alright then... go." said Siv.

"But how do I get out of here?"

"It's not a prison! You walk!" replied Siv, beginning to walk out as a demonstration. Kit noticed that Siv now walked with a limp.

"Siv! Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"...Do you know where my hat is?"

"No, I don't," said Siv, turning to walk out.

"Could you look for it for me?"

"No, I couldn't!"

There was a silence for a moment.

"Siv..." said Kit, gesturing her older sister back to her with a hand. Siv walked over. "Thanks for coming to visit me." she said, patting Siv on the back as if all this was something as simple and mundane as a hospital visit for a broken arm.

Siv must have gotten Kit's little joke, because she gave a small, warm smile. One of the rare times an expression other than intense concentration crossed her face. "Not at all. You are my strong right arm, after all, aren't you?"

Kit nodded as Siv finally left the room. It was more that just a nod, they both knew.

It was a nod of silent mutual forgiveness.

* * *

Siv walked by herself for a while, but then decided to rest in another room. This one had a fireplace that was lit.

_Why was I even brought back?_ Siv asked herself, staring into the small fireplace that dimly lit the room. _When have I ever risked my neck for someone?_

To many people, seeing fire would be a welcoming sight. To most, fire represents warmth and the ability to give off light in the darkest night.

To Siv, fire brought back the memory of a engulfing flames. Flames that grew and wrapped itself around a house, on one fateful night...

* * *

_"Kit, look out!" said the eight-year-old girl, pushing a six-year-old girl out of the lunging pitchfork's way. Everything was very dark that night. Everything that could be seen was a silhouette against the flaming house. Kit, after managing to get out of the house, had knocked off her large, black cap._

_The pitchfork grazed Siv's arm, but Siv's reckless move saved Kit from the pitchfork. The new wound stung but was not too serious for the young tiefling._

_There was suddenly a flurry of multiple voices all shouting different opinions. They had never seen Kit without her hat on. This new revelation had caused a ruckus amongst the crowd. First there were the villagers with pitchforks and other improvised weapons._

_"Lyra's children! They're demons!" yelled one._

_"I bet they're the ones who started the fire!" cried another._

_"They started the fire!"_

_"Get them before they escape!"_

_"They have horns! First the eyes and now the horns! I always knew they're was something off about Lyra's kids!"_

_"Kill the demons!"_

_And in other parts of the crowd, there were the pleaders._

___"But they're just children! For heaven's sake, don't kill them!"_

_"You've all gone mad!"_

_"Why would they burn their own house!"_

_"Lyra is a kind woman! Not an evil bone in her body!"_

_"This is murder!"_

_"We're not thugs!"_

___Children or demons. Innocent or guilty. It just depended on what side of the crowd you were standing on._

_And then another cry. It didn't carry an opinion, but a logical reminder. "What about putting out the fire!"_

_The fire. Though nobody, not even Siv or Kit, knew that it was a small spark that had caused the fire. The tiny spark had jumped out of the downstairs fireplace, and quickly grew around the house._

_The crowd of villagers began to fight amongst each other, becoming distracted. Kit and Siv saw this as an opportunity._

_Grabbing Kit's arm with her non-wounded hand, Siv lead her little sister away from the crowd. __They started to run away from the angry farmers and towards the forest._

_When they reached the edge of the forest, they stopped to look back. The fire was still there._

_"Why do you even KEEP that old hat, Kit!" asked Siv, "A headband is much easier to keep on. That hat doesn't even fit you!"_

_"You know why! Mum gave it to me, Siv," said Kit, taking off the hat to admire it, "She said that it was father's."_

_Siv just sighed heavily. It was the only clue they had about him: They're mother wouldn't answer any of their questions about him._

_"It'll fit me when I get older." said Kit._

_Siv and Kit kept running through the forest. Thick gray mist swirled around their feet._

_The two children stopped when they got to a pond. They were drawn to it by its light that reflected off the moon, which gave them two sources of light: Two moons. They kneeled down and began to wash their hands of the soot from the fire._

_Kit looked at her reflection, then she took off her hat and looked thoughtfully at herself for a moment._

_"Sis, why do they hate us?" asked Kit._

_Siv thought for a moment. "Because we're related to demons."_

_Kit looked down at the grass beneath her feet._

_"Siv... am I a... a monster?" asked Kit._

_Siv looked at Kit, and then hugged her little sister tightly. Breaking away from the embrace, Siv looked straight at Kit, with a look of seriousness in her eye, "If you're a monster, then I'm a monster. Do you think that I am a monster?"_

_Kit looked innocently at Siv. Kit mentally decided that Siv's only crime was that she was over-protective: Of both her pride and Kit's well-being. Siv had never done anything truly wrong. Not yet, anyway. "No." said Kit._

_"Then don't _ever_ think that you are for a second."_

_After their rest by the pond, they started walking again._

_Ahead of them they could make out the hazy outline of an old house in front of them, only it was too big to be a house, more like a small castle. It had dark purple roofing tiles, and a matching turret that stuck out from the side of the main building. The stone walls were lined with threads of algae and dew from the fog, and looked as if the place wasn't well taken care of._

_A round wooden sign hung above the entrance: "The Poison Apple"._

_"Well?" asked Siv, "Should we go in?"_

_Kit looked down at her sandaled feet for a moment, and then silently nodded. She didn't think that it was a good idea, but it was too becoming too dark to stay in the woods. The wolves and other beasts of the forest might get them._

_"We'll go in and talk to them." said Siv._

_"But can we trust them?" asked Kit._

_Siv had wondered this herself, and she was not sure how to answer her sister. "We'll do what the air feels like. Do you understand?"_

_"You mean, we won't do anything, unless-"_

_"Unless it feels _right_."_

_"And how will we know?" asked Kit._

_"We'll know," said Siv, "We'll just know."_

_As they hesitated, the door opened and a large, dark figure emerged._

_Kit and Siv stood there paralysed to their spot. Right in front of them was a one-eyed cyclopes._

_"Hey!" said a booming voice, "No one under twenty-one in supposed to be in here-" but then he stopped short, and leaned closer to them to get a closer look at them. He looked at the two of them right in the eye and his expression changed to one of realization._

_"Oh." he said, "You two must be with _them_ inside. Come in."_

_He gestured to the welcoming door and Siv and Kit went through._

_The cyclopes began to lead them across the pub room. Inside, there were crowds of bizarre figures. Trees with glowing eyes, a minotaur playing the piano in a corner, witches playing cards, pirates playing darts using axes. __Here and there, candles burned and dimly lit the room and tables were knocked over on their side. The place smelled like alcohol and burnt candle wicks._ The place was a loud mess.

_The two children began to wonder what the cyclopes meant by "_them_"._

_Fate seemed to have heard their wondering as they were soon given their answer: The cyclopes stopped in front of a table in the corner, wherein sat two more tieflings!_

_Siv and Kit were as shocked at shocked could be: They were sure that they were the only tieflings around._

_The first tiefling stranger was a lot older than the six-year-old Siv: about eighteen. She__ studied the cyclopes with a pair of bright pink eyes for a moment and then dismissed him. "I'll take care of this. Go on, go on." she said, pushing at the air with her hand, much as she might shoo away chickens. The cyclopes walked back to the front door to continue his guarding. The tiefling woman took Siv and Kit by the hand and led them to a free stool at their table._

_"My name's Amn," said the pink-eyed tiefling, __"And this is Lacy." she said as she gestured towards the other tiefling woman._

_She had eyes that seemed to burn like fire as she held a tankard of liquid. "You two look hungry," said Lacy, "I'll share my drink with you too."_

_"Lace! You shouldn't give alcohol to a minor! I'll order some milk." said Amn, gesturing towards the barmaid to get her attention._

_"They can _still_ have a sip of my cider if they want to try it." shrugged Lacy._

_And this was how the two children started their training to become mercenaries. Ten long years of training._

Then the memory of the Poison Apple transformed back into the harsh reality of the infirmary.

_Oh, yeah,_ thought Siv, reminiscing, _That's why..._

* * *

Kit started walking around the building, but handn't found another soul.

Suddenly, turning a corner, she saw a young man -an assistant of some sort- counting out crates of bandages.

She walked up to him. "Excuse me, do you know where the exit is?"

The man, surprised, turned to look at Kit. He gave out a "Ahh!" and ran down the hall.

_I better try not come in come in contact with too many people._ thought Kit.

* * *

After some sneaking around, Kit found the exit of the infirmary, and she ran through it like a shot.

She looked around. It was a dark night indeed. But despite this, she could see a familiar face just a few feet next to her.

"Hello, Donkey! Do you know where Artie is?" she asked happily.

"AAAAHHHHH!"

"Donkey, wait!" said Kit, realizing the shock she must have given him.

But it was too late. Donkey had already sprinted miles away.

"Puss! Puss!" yelled Donkey, once he reached the castle just as the sky was getting lighter in preparation for the sunrise.

* * *

"I'm not lying!" said Donkey to Puss a few minutes later, "It _was_ Kit! As large as life!"

Puss sat on the sitting room sofa next to Donkey.

"Was she in clouds of smoke, or hovering above the ground?" asked Puss. He wasn't taking Donkey seriously at all, but (whether it was because of his shock of seeing the dead, or just his simple-minded nature) Donkey treated the question as a serious one.

"I don't think so," said Donkey. Then he began to speak in an eerie tone, " _'Hellooo, Donkeyyy_,' it said, _'Do you know where Artie isss?...' _"

"You said that she spoke perfectly normally a few minutes ago." said an unimpressed Puss.

"Well, I'm confused. I've had a shock!"

"We've all had a shock, Donkey, from the loss of Kit. And when you've suffered trauma, you sometimes see things that aren't-"

Suddenly, Puss gasped and pointed out the window. Donkey looked to where Puss was pointing. Out in the distance, Kit was outside walking towards the bridge that was the west side of the castle's entrance.

"That's it!" said Donkey, "That's what I saw! It's Kit's ghost!"

"There's nothing there," said Puss, wide-eyed, "We can both see it, but there's nothing there!" Even Puss couldn't believe his own words. Not when his eyes were telling him otherwise.

"What does it want, Puss?" asked Donkey, shaking with shattered nerves.

The figure of Kit disappeared out of the animals' sight as it turned around a corner.

"If it were _really_ Kit's ghost, it would mean us no harm."

Suddenly, the two animals heard an outside door open and then slam shut.

Donkey gasped. "Mother Fletcher! It's in the HOUSE!"

"Stay calm, my _amigo_." said Puss. They could hear footsteps echoing in the hall just outside the room. Puss placed a paw on the handle of his sword, ready to pull it out if necessary.

Donkey began circling around the sitting room. "Rock of ages, cleft for me-" he sang, nervously reciting a church hymn.

"Shh-hh! You crazing _burro_!" hushed Puss.

The two of them panicked and hid behind the nearby sofa. Donkey lowered his ears. They poked their heads out to see what was happening.

The sound of footsteps stopped right next to the closed door of the sitting room. There was a knock on the door. Three solid and slow knocks. Then the door slowly creaked open.

And Kit stepped in.

"Now, I _know_ this is going to come as a bit of a shock..." said Kit slowly, trying to reassure them.

"Oh mother!" Donkey let out a breath and fainted.

Kit then walked up to Puss. "It's me, Puss! It's Kit!" she said, patting herself to prove that she wasn't transparent, "I only sort-of died, Puss, 'cause I came to on the mortuary slab!" she laughed.

Then Puss fainted on top of Donkey.

After Kit brought them back with the help of the dowsing bucket that was next to the fire place, Kit explained what had happened while Puss and Donkey explained what was going to happen to Artie. They quickly agreed that the next best plan of action would be to get to the church before it was too late.

* * *

The past half hour had felt like the greatest marathon Kit had ever endured. She began to get used to the numb pain in her stomach.

The sun of the new morning had already peeked over the distant mountains to greet the city.

"We're here." said Puss, as they stared up at the towering church, "There's no one else around. The streets are empty. The wedding must have started already."

"Yeah, there's just one problem..." sighed Kit, leaning her back against the building's wall, trying to catch her breath.

"What's that?" asked Donkey.

Kit pointed her thumb at the doors. "If I'm half-demon... do you think I can enter a church?"

* * *

**Read and review!**

**The story Siv tells Kit is based on an old fairytale. It is unusual, as no one can seem to agree on the story's exact origin. Some say it's Russian (calling it "The Soldier and Death"), while others say it's American (known as "Soldier Jack"), or Scottish ("West Highlands"), Irish, or English.**


	20. Running Out of Time

_"There is not much point in writing a novel unless you can show the possibility of moral transformation, or an increase in wisdom, operating in your chief character or characters."_

—Anthony Burgess

* * *

Artie stood at the altar, dressed in the finest traditional Medieval Europe suit that Far Far Away could provide. Making the suit a complicated design was another attempt Artie made to slow down the ceremony. Unfortunately, his plan was foiled by the skilled tailors and seamstresses.

So many people - the whole Kingdom in fact - come to witness what was becoming known as the greatest celebration Far Far Away had ever held. The citizens were in their best apparel, chatting among themselves in the church pews - And they all looked so happy that Artie couldn't bear it. He would not be included in this wedding if he had any choice in the matter. He wanted a funeral - not a celebration. But Kit had been left out and forgotten. He felt his heart go heavy and unbearably ache inside him.

Artie didn't bother to search out Puss and Donkey, whom he assumed were in the crowd. He couldn't bear to face them.

He would have felt better if they were mad at him, but instead, Puss and Donkey were so forgiving and sympathetic towards him.

Then the crowd went silent. The massive church pipe organs boomed as they began to play. As Artie stood by the altar, he suddenly felt a pang of anxiety. He felt the cut Siv gave him on his neck. It had healed over, but Artie secretly wished that Siv had killed him. Mentally bargaining his life for Kit's. He would have prefered a quick death, not the slow dying he was feeling inside himself now.

Then Guinevere entered. She looked like an angel in human form. A princess. Her pure white gown simply flowed as she walked up the aisle. She pulled back her dress's veil to reveal her fiery red hair. She held a bouquet of roses in her hands.

It did not, until now, fully occur to Artie to ask himself whether anything but her physical beauty qualified Guin for the throne.

Finally, she reached the altar.

"We are gathered here today..." began the priest.

* * *

Kit swallowed nervously as she looked up at the church. Kit didn't exactly need to be a clergywoman to know that, according to legends, demons couldn't enter churches. So, she had no idea what would happen it a tiefling, someone with demon blood, tried to enter a church. She had images in her mind of herself bursting into flames, turning into dust, melting, and other unpleasant things.

Kit even wondered for a moment if it might have been better if she just left. Walked out of Artie's life. Removed herself from the picture altogether. It would have been simple enough, everyone thought she was dead. Maybe Artie would have a better life without her. However, out of wisdom or sheer selfishness on her own part, Kit quickly rejected this thought.

She could have just asked Donkey to go into the church on his own to get Artie, but Kit had the mind of a child. And, like most young children, she had to prove something to herself the hard way. She wanted to prove to herself that, despite the less than honest ways of getting what she wanted (such as cheating the jousting match), her upbringing in the Poison Apple, and her demonic heritage, she was, ultimately, a _good person_. If she could walk through those church doors without dying, then she would know that she was.

She needed to stop the wedding. If there was a time Kit needed to enter a church, it was now.

With that in mind, she reached for the door handle.

"Wait, Kit, you can't just walk in there!"

"It's the only way I can stop the wedding."

"But you have to wait for the line!"

"What are you talking about!?"

"There's a line! There's a line!" said Donkey excitedly, tapping Kit's shin with his hoof, "You have to wait for the priest whose gonna say 'Speak now or forever hold your peace', and _that's_ when you say, 'I object'!"

"I don't have time for this!"

"It'll only take five minutes, Kit!"

"I don't think that we even have five _seconds_!"

"Look, you love Artie, right?"

Kit turned away, "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." Her hand touched the door handle.

* * *

The priest continued, "Do you, Guinevere of Galorus, take this man..."

Artie blanked out for a moment. What was he doing? He was about to marry someone he was no longer in love with, to rule a Kingdom he no longer cared to rule. Would he just become as cold-hearted as Charming? Or would he somehow learn to care about, if not love, Guinevere again?

No. His love for Guin was dead. It would only work if he was looking after the Kingdom with the one who first believed he could. Someone who genuinely believed in him before he himself did...

He needed _her_.

Artie just came back to earth in time to hear Guin say, "I do." There was a stiffness in her voice. Like Artie, she loved another. She was also still chewing gum. It was as if she had a lump of the sticky stuff surgically attached to her jaw.

The priest turned to the reluctant groom. "And do you, Arthur Pendragon, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded bride, secure in the knowledge that you will be her constant friend, her faithful partner in life, and her One True Love?"

This was suddenly growing more and more overwhelming to Artie. Thinking that the priest had finished, Artie opened his mouth to make an answer, what it would be he didn't know.

_What should I do?_ he thought. He was doing this to save the Kingdom, but was it the right thing to do?

However, the priest was far from finished.

"...On this special and honorable day, do you give to her, in the presence of all those in attendance, your sacred promise to stay by her side as her faithful husband, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad? Do you promise to love her without reservation, comfort her in times of distress, encourage her to follow her hopes and dreams, to laugh with her, cry with her, grow with her in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with her, and cherish her for as long as you both shall live?

The priest waited. As did the villagers. The entire church suddenly became so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Artie let in a breath.

"I..." he began. The single vowel echoed through the aisle.

"I... I..."

Guinevere looked at him, raising an eyebrow. She didn't look upset, just confused.

Artie's mind just kept playing the same question over and over again.

_What do I do? What do I do? WhatdoIdo? WhatdoIdoWhatdoIdo..._

He wasn't thinking about what he _was_ saying. He was concentrating on what he _should_ say. The result was the entire church listening to a superb imitation of a broken record. The citizens looked at each other in confusion with hushed murmurs. Artie was still struggling with his thoughts.

Then...

"I... I..."

"I **OBJECT**!" howled a voice.

Artie's head was the first one to turn around. He knew that voice anywhere.

"Kit?"

Artie's mind was now in a joyful loop. All he could think was, _She's alive! Kit's alive!_ But how? He thought of Kit being stabbed. Of her eyes turning sickening grey before they closed for what Artie dreaded would be forever. But now Kit's eyes were open.

Open and _blazing_.

As she was backlit against the sunlight from the open doors (almost mirroring Artie's entrance to Charming's play production, as he was silhouetted against a stage light) her steel-grey tunic reminded Artie of a knight in full armor. He couldn't help it: He felt saved and rescued.

Kit ran in. Her limp was still painful, but upon seeing Artie she was too happy to even notice.

People rose up from their seats. Some fainted and swooned into others' arms. They had all seen both the death and the resurrection of Kit and they couldn't believe their eyes.

Kit and Artie rushed into an embrace. After a tight hug, Artie was the first to speak.

"I... I thought that I lost you..."

"Well, you didn't," said Kit sternly. Then her face immediately softened again. "I'm still here to annoy you." She was still the same old joking Kit.

Artie could almost laugh.

Then Guin screamed. "Oh my gosh! What _is_ that!" she yelled, pointing at Kit.

"Nothing special," replied Kit, tapping her left horn with her knuckle, "It's exactly what it seems."

Guinevere looked dumbfounded. Not only had her wedding been disrupted, but she had just realized that one of her former classmates wasn't completely human.

Artie turned to her. "I'm sorry, Guin." he said. There was just nothing more he could say.

Guin stormed out. On any other day, she would have given Artie a sock in the face with her bouquet, but not today. Secretly, she was a little relieved. Sure, she just lost her chance to be the Queen of Far Far Away, but at least this meant that she could go back to Lancelot.

That was when Kit and Artie saw Siv leaning smugly on the door frame as Guin passed her to leave the church.

Siv was wearing a somewhat battered black cap. Puss and Donkey stood beside her.

"Go ahead, you two." called out Donkey.

"Kit... I've been trying to figure out how to say this... or when to say this... for a while now... But I couldn't have made it here without you. You've saved my life. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you..."

"Artie..."

Then Artie realized that he couldn't put his thoughts into words. Reaching towards Kit, he leaned closer to her...

Then there was an animalistic cry.

Kit and Artie quickly turned to see Prince Charming, sword in hand, at the open doors of the entrance.

That was when Siv remembered that the tower Charming supposedly was crushed by... had a _window_. Charming had somehow beaten the odds and had survived by standing exactly beneath tower's window as it fell.

Charming charged in, his sword poised at Kit and Artie. This time, almost as an automatic reaction, Artie stoickly stepped between Kit & Charming.

This action, however, was not needed.

There was a silver flash near Charming and then the sound of metal hitting something. He abruptly halted to a stop in front of Kit and Artie. It didn't take long for them to realize what had happened.

Siv stopped Charming in his tracks with her trusty throwing dagger concealed in her belt. But she didn't kill him with it. By "stopped", she actually simply pinned him down by his boots. And before Charming could try anything else, the guards scooped him up and took him away.

Siv stood silently and stoickly in the church. Breathing heavily with her arm outstretched from the throwing of her dagger. She didn't kill him. _Why?_ It wasn't because she missed. She meant to _spare his life_. It would have, in fact, been easier for Siv to kill Charming, but something stopped her. _Mercy?_ Instead, of killing him, she used all her strength and skill to aim for the tiny area of moving boot. It would have taken a lot less precision for Siv to aim for his torso, or even his head. Siv decided against more bloodshed, no matter how much she wanted it. _Leave the decision up to the new King_, thought Siv. _If Artie wanted Charming to be condemned and executed, so be it._

Siv mused over Charming's future of rotting in the dungeon or perhaps (in an ironic twist of Fate) working in a dinner theatre for the rest of his days.

With the near-death disturbance out of the way, Artie seized his chance once again. He leaned over to Kit and kissed her on the mouth. She had still had her concentration on Siv and the now-out-of-sight Charming, so Artie surprised her to the fullest effect.

And despite being completely dazed and out of it, even by Kit's standards, - what with coming back to life, running miles, ignoring pain, and brushes with death, _all in the same morning_ - she somehow _did know what was happening, _because before she knew what was going on she was kissing Artie as well.

It was their very first true, gloriously stumbling, unsure, ungraceful, inexperienced, awkward, _amazing_ kiss.

As Artie pulled away and stepped back he was at first worried. Had he gone too far? But then he was close to laughing again at Kit's dumbstruck, flabbergasted expression.

And that was when it was Kit's turn to faint.

"Kit? Kit!" Artie looked down at Kit, who was now stupidly sprawled out on the red carpet of the aisle.

"Calm down, Romeo." said Siv, walking over and gently picking up her younger sister, "She's just a little injured. If there's one thing I'm learned from all this, it's that we tieflings are made of sterner stuff." Siv paused briefly before adding, "Oh, and one other thing... You're alright kid."

"Heh, careful there," said Artie, "I almost hear an apology there."

"Kid, if we both live to be a hundred, you'd still never get an apology out of **_me_**. I'm just saying... you're alright."

"Is that why you came all the way here?" asked Artie, raising an eyebrow. He was getting more and more confident in Siv's presence.

"No," said Siv firmly, "I'm here to return my sister's hat."

Kit opened her eyes and smiled.

* * *

_A/N: Read and review._


	21. Epilogue: Side by Side

_"I know I am young and need to learn_

_but you are old and need to remember."_

-Poem by Ann Lazechko

* * *

Four months later...

Kit sat contently alone at the top of a hill, where she could see the castle of Far Far Away resting next to the ocean. She wore a light violet dress, lined with yellow ribbon, simple in design. Next to her lay a walking stick, its rosecane handle carved into the shape of a dragon. She still had the grin of a trickster, but there was now something in her expression that made her look slightly more mature. A sense that she had mellowed, ever so slightly, within the few short months that passed.

She could see a black cap appearing just above the horizon of the steep hill.

It was Siv.

Kit could no longer wore her hat because she now wore a crown instead. Passing the torch as it were, she offered the cap to Siv.

Siv stood next to Kit, who quickly stood up with her walking stick to help her limp. She had quickly gotten used to using it. As did Siv with her's.

"Artie's still worried about you."

"Well..." shrugged Kit, "Things could have ended much worse." She stared at the sunset. "Wow... it's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah..." replied Siv in a monotone voice. The sky had streaks of orange and pink and turquoise.

" _'Red sky at night, shephard's delight'_, eh?"

Siv abruptly changed the subject. "Do you really believe that Arthur will be a good King?"

"Yes." Kit spoke immediately. There was no hesitation in her voice.

"You're very confident. Judging by the boy's eyes, I'd say that were naïve from a sheltered life and cold from a depressing past. Which is not surprising, since he's been at that Academy ever since his father-"

"You think so?" asked Kit, flashing her golden eyes from the sunset to Siv. Her voice wasn't stern or angry, just matter-of-fact. "I saw someone who wanted to make a difference. I saw eyes that burned like _fire_."

"That's ironic, coming from you."

Kit laughed a short, soft laugh.

"Are you ready?" Kit finally asked. "Should we go back to the castle?"

"Actually, Kit... I want to have a talk with you first."

"Uh-oh," said Kit with a smile, "This sounds serious."

Siv tried to give Kit an unimpressed look, but it was half-hearted. _Typical,_ She thought, _I'm so used to Kit that I'm not even surprised she said that._

Siv began, "I... I know I've been hard to deal with, to say the least. And I know I've made many mistakes with you-"

"To say the least!" grinned Kit.

"R-Right! And so I just want to say... I'm sorry. This -_life_, I mean- is something you have to work out by yourself. It's no longer my place to tell you what's best for you. I know that now." Kit looked up as Siv went on, "Kit, whatever you decide to do, I will always love you. I'll always be your sister."

Kit stared at her, her eyes clouded with relief and gratitude.

Siv continued. "I don't expect to be forgiven for what I've done-"

"You already have been."

"No. You shouldn't. And besides, I won't ever forgive myself. But I'm gonna try to make things better from now on."

"So... what are you going to do now?"

This was a question that had to be asked. Siv's limp appeared to indeed be permanent, making her unable to become a mercenary again. And her chances of making it to the throne were slim at best. Siv was older than both Kit and Artie. And although Siv was made the spare heir, in the long history of Far Far Away, no spare had ever reached the throne. But perhaps it was for the best. Siv had an aggressiveness about her that, if you were one of the citizens of Far Far Away, you'd be eternally grateful that Siv was not the ruler of the kingdom. Despite her changes in those four months, she still relished giving orders. She expected people to obey her, and she believed that those who disobeyed her deserved punishment, swift and fierce.

There was a long pause before Siv answered, and as she did, she looked at the sunset instead of Kit. "I'm not going to go back to being an assassin. It's a shame. I'll miss the others, especially Amn and Lacy, but perhaps it's for the best... I think I'll join the royal guards. They really need a trainer. They need a trainer that's pick-pocketed them unseen enough times to know that they're useless. From my experiences, their imbeciles. It's like using chickens to hunt foxes."

"Well, I think you're making good progress on your journey to goodness already!" said Kit, vigorously patting Siv on the back. "We were able to get on the right path eventually. Wouldn't Mum be happy for us for that?"

There was a silent moment of equality before Siv rapped her arm around Kit in a half-embrace. "Yes... Yes she would."

Then, without speaking, the two sat down, laying their walking sticks side by side, in the unfamiliar clearing that overlooked their new home. For the first time in ages, they leaned against each other in their newly found companionable silence. Below them, the wide edge of the cliff-like hill offered them a view of the busy Kingdom against the sunset.

The End.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. People have asked me if there will be a sequel to this. There may be, and I will update this story with a new chapter if I do. It will take time. For now, you can put this story on Follow Story.


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